M said in Walking away and into the New

M said that what A did could be seen as sexual assault. Maybe. She said I didn’t do anything wrong and told me to block him. I guess a theme is that I only feel comfortable with forming strong emotional connections and being vulnerable with men. They then tend to take advantage of that and tell me what I want to hear…be who they thing I want them to be or what I need…then it all falls through in some ways. I also am asked to work on trusting myself rather than constantly seek signs outside of myself. K easier said than done but maybe.

I have the urge to eat the entire rest of the banana bread. Hello mia. Can’t. Won’t. It will only make my hashis worse. It’s just me struggling with expressing my emotions and my part is trying to help me self soothe. It’s not the answer. I need to sit with this…let it bubble up…and move forward. Emily: “Please don’t leave me.” Her abandonment would is activated with not talking to A anymore. Another pet we’re disconnecting from…and all the silly meems…and everything else. It’s sad.

I wonder where this man is that the tarot lady was talking about. Would he respect boundaries? Will we have things in common? Will the mosaic be clear from the start? M said she just knew she was going to marry her husband. I thought that about T and…

Positives:
I aced a very challenging assessment.
The entering my unit thing during the workday concerning the AC unit was speedy and didn’t interfere with work too much.
The video of the raccoon in the drive through line getting a doughnut form an employee :)
Hershey’s faint siamese chirps when watching bird TV on the balcony.
M’s warmth and honesty and nonjudgment and support… and everything. Thank you universe for her.

love