In a month, it's gonna be in The Napkin.

Took a job first shift. I’m assuming 4a-1p is first shift. Because I’m insane (and have no life), I get up around 11pm, so I can hit the gym around 12-2am.

Pretty quiet that time of morning. Easy to focus and relax. Yet there’s typically a dozen or so people at the gym. Which is a dozen or so more than you’d expect for 2am.

I sleep the evening, oatmeal, lift, meat, work, sleep. Community is leaving Netflix, so I watch that on my break. (Just enough time on break to dart home and down 6 eggs.)

I’m seriously wondering how the hell I did so much in my twenties. How does anyone do anything working 40 hours a week.

It’s a shite job, but at least it’s instant full time.

Fight Club taught us that we’re not our job. Star Trek taught us that we’re supposed to aspire to more. So uh. That kinda means work sucks and will never be anything meaningful. Having spent enough time unemployed, I consider work something just tolerable enough to pass the time.

Granted, I still have difficulty enjoying my “free time”. But when all your time is your free time, then it is REALLY difficult relaxing.

As always, now the difficulty is zoning in during my free time. I’m painfully aware of the timesink of any activity. Left4Dead is an hour. Star Trek Online is multiple hours. Mario Kart is maybe 15 minutes.

I was able to concentrate for the latest episode of Bad Batch. That’s a plus. But otherwise, youtube/netflix/disney remains background noise while I play on my phone or cook.

Admit it. You do it, too.

One of the things I miss about having a human partner. The shared experience of watching stuff together makes it easier to concentrate.

Oh, gymstuff is going fantastic. Despite taking last year off, I’ve broken most of my significant records. I won’t bore you with the details.

I’d like to reach out more. But it takes so much energy. Because I don’t know how to chit chat.

When I’m asked at work “how are you” I respond with “I am operating within established parameters”. Which is a sidestep because you’re supposed to say “fine”. Waiting for the day when someone asks what those “parameters” are, as I haven’t prethought that.

Down ~15 lbs since New Years. Just this thing called Fork Putdowns™. I’m not doing keto, but relying on meat, vegetables, and bananas seems to work. Bread and yogurt bloats the shite out of me. Most days are oatmeal, lb of meat, spinach, 6 eggs, and a banana. Stupidproofed 120 grams of protein. I’m at least 1% skinner, and at least 1% more swole.

It’s slow, but sustainable. My body does not look good over 200 lbs.

Anyway, in a month, it’s gonna be May.