march 14 in idea barrages

The relative percentage of weird British food in your diet is your “aspic ratio”.

Every failure protected you from a “success” that you would’ve discovered you didn’t actually want or couldn’t actually handle or couldn’t live with morally. You been stumbling about a mine field, looking like an idiot but never hitting ordinance. It just doesn’t FEEL like it.

These rowdy kids in their tweens and early teens, running around, being annoying for the sake of being annoying. At their age, I was sullenly mooning over whatever girl I had a crush on, listening to music in my parents’ attic and it was a lot better for everyone other than me. Someone needs to teach these youngins some emo.

The name of your next punk band will be “Premarital Hand-Holding”.

It takes so little to make a “cum rag” into an “orgasm towel”.

Plowing a field is a harrowing experience.

They’d believed their power tool heist had ended in success until they heard a voice yell from behind them “the jig is up!”

Wolverine talking himself out of a beserker rage is an act of mind-over-murder.