fb13 in idea barrages

The secret to intergalactic travel will be in having paint thinner and paint fattener annihilate each other, generating pure energy. We’re just waiting for someone to invent paint fattener.

Of all the dates on the calendar, how is Good Friday a floating observance? Of all the holidays, you’d think they’d nail that one down.

Your band name is now Pissanthemum.

Life’s all about context. “Pimpin’ ain’t easy” compared to long division or walking through the park but I would say it’s astonishingly easy compared to being the pimp’s employee.

The feeling of invincibility that comes from extreme wealth, from no consequences to any of your actions, creates a kind of super stupidity, a quantum stupidity, that no simple ignorance could ever match. People like Trump or Musk are just this truth’s logical extension.

The spare tire cover said “I Stand For The Flag and Kneel For The Cross”. I imagined putting him in front of both and getting locked into an infinite loop of squat thrusts, like a PS2 error. Maybe nudge him and he glitches through the wall, skipping straight to the boss fight.

Maybe if we celebrated Interdependence Day once in a while instead, we’d realize we’re all in this together. Because we are, like it or not.

LESS TOM CLANCY, MORE CLANCY BROWN