nv 16 in idea barrages

In Soviet telephone company, party-line uses YOU.

“The only preparation my generation had for 9/11 was Star Wars The Phantom Menace,” she asserted, “not in magnitude, but in a general sense of profound disappointment that challenges everything you’ve ever known. Maybe Star Wars sucked this bad from the start. Maybe America too.”

A Beatles parody about Godzilla built around the line “na na na, na na na na, na na na na, Kaiju”.

Because of the proliferation of the Tim Hortons chain, attractive dumb but well-meaning Canadians are known neither as “Himbo” nor “Bimbo”, rather as the gender-neutral “Timbo”.

Much as I’d like to believe otherwise, his given name probably wasn’t “Launchpad”. He was probably Lawrence McQuack & until he took up piloting, they just called him Larry. I also hope that Scrooge’s legal birth name was “Uncle” & it’s coincidence he ended up with so many nephews.

ALSO: how could none of the Disney parks have a fast-service restaurant called “Lunchpad McQuacks”? They could even do like a diner trailer thing dressed up to look like a crashed cargo plane, wings fallen off and everything, converted to the purpose. C’mon now.

More than anything else, though, someone should’ve bought the land next to Knott’s Berry Farm and started “Barry’s Nut Farm”, just for the hell of it. Just because a good pun matters more than making money. Just to make the world more beautiful through willful inanity.

LESS PETER PAN AND WENDY, MORE PETER PAN AND WENDIGO.