I've been meaning to write in here but just haven't had the time. Like I said in my last entry, me and Bradley finally got "legally" married. It doesn't feel any different. It's just nice to have it carved in stone so I don't feel like I'm living some sort of facade. I didn't really want to get married in the court house, so we paid $50 to get married at this really beautiful huge historic home in town, in the back where they had a beautiful garden and old school little chapel. The pastor who married us the first time came and married us again. We got some student photographer we found on Craigslist to take a few pics. They came out okay. It was so hot I just wasn't feeling it. It was like 2pm, in the dead of summer in South Georgia, so it was hot as balls. My mom came too. I thought about having the kids there but I didn't want to confuse them. I wish we had something like this to begin with, instead of the wedding on the beach. I liked how low-key it was and stress free.
So Bradley's son moved in with us about 6 weeks ago. This has been VERY hard for me. To say it has been an easy transition would be a lie. He is 6 months younger than Cassidy (9 1/2) but he acts like a 2 year old. Don't get me wrong, he's a good kid overall and really sweet and loving. But he is SOOO NEEDY. It is obvious his mom must've literally wiped his ass for him, because he expects me to do EVERYTHING for him. Pour his bath, get him a snack, make him cereal. Are you fucking kidding me???? Being a single mom for so long, Cassidy had no choice but to be somewhat independent. She can make her own breakfast and get her self ready for bed with no help from me. But not Zion.
This became a big problem for me because this summer kicked my ass. I was taking 11 credit hours of school plus working 20 hours a week. I was completely overwhelmed and adding his neediness into the mix didn't help. Not to mention he has taken on the role as the annoying little brother so him and Cassidy argued a lot. He follows her everywhere and expects her to be his permanent playmate. And it's very hard for me because I don't want it to look like I'm playing favorites, I go out of my way to make him feel included and apart of this family, so much so that I feel like Cassidy suffers. I'm so conscientious of Zion's feelings that she gets left out in the cold. I have been trying to find the balance but it's really hard.
And I've talked to Bradley about it but he has no idea what a little baby Zion is. When Bradley's home Zion acts COMPLETELY different around him. So when I'm telling Bradley about how he acted that day he just doesn't get it. Zion pouts and whines like a two year old if he doesn't get his way. Last night, for example, our church was having a back to school pool party. We had to be there at 6:30 because a van was taking them to someones house. Well we're headed out the door and he starts whining about how he HAS to have his goggles to swim and they're over at my mom's house. My mom's house which is COMPETELY out of the way., btw. My mom's house which he was just at on Monday swimming and he could have gotten the goggles then because he knew about this pool party. So he was expecting me to just do what he wanted and go get the goggles. I told him we didn't have time and that he doesn't need them to swim, he's a good swimmer without the goggles. The WHOLE way to church he is pouting and LITERALLY crying because he's not gonna have any fun now and will have to stay in the shallow end.
OMFG. First world problems!!!!Dude I was so annoyed. Then he wouldn't even get out of my car when we got to church. After I dropped the kids off I called my mom and told her about the episode and she told me when he was at her house the other day swimming he acted the same way! She said they were all swimming and he wanted my mom or Cassidy to go get out of the pool, so inside the house, get a cell phone so they could record him doing cannon balls. When no one would do it he sat on a pool step for the rest of the time crying.
Are you fucking shitting me???? Why should THEY drop everything for YOU?? You go get he damn phone if YOU want it. Those are just a few examples of MANY. But you get the idea. I really don't get it because he comes from a lower socioeconomic family with two little brothers, so why he has this sense of entitlement and need for attention is beyond me. I thought since he was the oldest of three and didn't come from much, that he'd have some independence, leadership skills, and gratitude... but nope, none of the above.
His mom just called me. Why? I don't know I didn't answer. That's a whole other can of worms. His mom is constantly blowing me up. She expects a play by play from me every day. Like I have nothing better to do. Why doesn't she call Bradley, ya know because THAT'S her baby daddy. Not me. Between school, work, and my domestic duties (ya know bc since I work from home I'm still expected to do all the stay at home mom shit) I don't have time to tell her how many times he took a shit and what he ate that day.
I know it's hard to let go of a child, I can't even imagine. However, he is here now and she needs to let go. Bradley did not bombard her with phone calls and texts when she had Zion. Of course she needs to know what's going in his life and stay semi involved, but this is ridiculous. And not to mention, Zion has his own phone (that she gave him, an Obama phone.. no surprise there) so she can stay in constant communication with him. So why are you blowing me up?
Did I mention that she doesn't pay child support and they signed an agreement saying she gets to claim him this year?? Yeah, even though we will have him for more than half the year and before we had him Bradley was sending her money... And yet you get to claim him. Okay. Even though you sent him down here with NOTHING! I mean nothing, y'all. Most of the clothes he had were either shit we bought him before or raggedy old clothes.
My mom took the kids on a trip to visit my dad in Arkansas. Well, his mom text me the night before Zion was going to be back home and was like "hey I'm gonna be in town tomorrow to get Zion at 10am".. I told her he was still on his way back from Arkansas and would probably be here in the early afternoon. No problem. So when he got home at around 2, I told her he was there and she could come get him. Now I'm thinking they would go out to eat or go play putt putt or something. Nope. His mom, along with his step-dad and two little brothers come over and spend the next like 5 hours over at my house. Did I mention that I was in the middle of a HUGE project for school that was due that day??? Which the mom totally knew about but didn't care about the inconvenience. Then, she said she was going to take Zion to Walmart to get some back to school supplies. Ok great. Nope. She, Zion , and the step dad go to Walmart and leave ME with their other two sons! One of which who is special needs. Are you fucking shitting me? Did I mention I was in the middle of a huge project due that day? So anyways, when they come back hours later they finally get their other two kids and leave. And wouldn't you know how she bought was a couple of packs of notebook paper, some pencils and some glue sticks! Thank you for buying the cheapest shit on the school supply list that didn't even put a DENT in what we had to get him. Not to mention she didn't buy him any clothes or anything.
Okay, I'm done ranting about that. Any advice from step parents or anyone would be greatly appreciated.
Moving on,,,
Like I mentioned, I had a full course load this summer. I started the dietetics program and was taking two nutrition programs along with Organic Chem. Note to self, never take 11 credit hours in an 8 week semester. I got my ass handed to me. Somehow I made it through the semester with two A's and a B. The B was in Organic Chem. As sad as I was not to make straight A's I'm happy I was even able to pass that class. Since then I've had a little break from school and don't start back until August 25th. This semester I'll be taking 2 nutrition classes and BioChemistry.. ughhhh. Fuck chemistry, seriously!!! It's the worst! This is my LAST chem class, thank God.
Aside from the chemistry course, I absolutely LOVED my other classes. I learned so much about food, cooking, and nutrition this semester. It has completely changed how I view food. Ya know before I have tried to lose weight by "any means necessary" and it was more for the physical appearance rather than health. I have changed what I eat and what I allow my family to eat. Not that we're eating carrot sticks and tofu or anything, but I'm making my own whole wheat bread and cooking stuff from scratch instead of processed, refined crap. It's been a slow transition, but I'm happy with the small changes we've made. And I cannot wait to become a registered dietician and help people. Particularly children, as 1 in 6 children are obese and it's just getting worse.
Anyway, I could talk all day about that but I'll move on.
So August 11th was mine and Bradley's two year wedding anniversary. He had taken Friday through Monday off because we were gonna do something, like go to Charleston or back to Jekyll Island where we got married. Wells hows about on Thursday night (last week) I started getting texts from a random number saying my husband is having a threesome with two cashiers at his work. Then the conversation turned into her having sex with him.. but according to her only once bc it wasn't good so now he just eats her out every time and she busts a nut all over his tattoos of my name and my daughters name.
Really now? mmmmk. Then she said I deserved it after what I did at my bacherlotte party.. ya know my party TWO years ago. Apparently i got so turned on by the stripper there that I gave him head in his car.. because apparently "that's what white girls do." The whole thing was laughable. The number was from a text app so I could't trace it and she wouldn't say who it was.. Then she finally tells me her name is "Shantell" and send me this nasty naked pic of some black chick with a major 70's afro bush. um ok.
Oh, then she stalks my FB and is like "oh, you used to be a waitress, you're trash." umm really? I'm rash for working my way through college.. five years ago? She was really grasping at straws. I had posted a pic of our new puppy on FB and she's like "wow, he'll get you puppy bc he doesn't want to have a baby with you.." Really? that was the reason? Last time I checked he gets mad every time I pop a bc pill.
There was a lot more bullshit, but I caught her in so many lies it was obvious she was full of shit. Especially when I asked her what the inside of my house looks like and she suddenly "had to go." Hmmm. We still don't know who it is. It HAS to be someone he works with because they knew stuff only people there would know (like that he was using his vacation days to go celebrate his anniversary which btw she claimed I was "dragging" him to). Also, not sure how they got my number. Not many people have it, especially people that live here. I hadn't heard from her since that night until last night she sent me ":P"... I didn't respond.
Even though nothing she said made sense, the next day it started to weigh on me. Like, what if she's not lying and I'm the dumb girl who's defending her man even though he's doing dirt. So then I got pissed off and went off on Bradley and drove away in my car and just left him with the kids for hours. We were supposed to go to the beach that day. Obviously we didn't go. I was just beyond pissed. Even if it wasn't true, I was mad that he put me in that position to get stalked and harassed. Like, why am I going through this? I haven't done anything to anyone. I don't talk to anyone. I have zero social life. Why would anyone feel the need to do this to me?
Anyways, on Sunday I read through the texts again and realized it was all just such bullshit that made no sense. She didn't know anything that wasn't already public knowledge (i.e. my name tattooed on him, his phone number, etc) , I caught her in several lies (first she said she's not from here and was just "passing through" but then you say you guys mess around on the regular, "in my bed."), and then not to mention she quickly turned to personal attacks against me. Alrighty then. He has given me no reason to think he's cheating. He goes to work, comes home and trains people in our garage and then we're together. So unless he has a 5:00am booty call when he goes to the gym, I don't see when he'd do it.
Whatevs, I'm over it. I'd just like to know who would go though the trouble of finding my phone number and stalking my FB page and why.
In other news, we are moving!!! Bradley bought this house back in 2006. When he got behind on payments (when he was locked up) he had to file bankruptcy and had to pay a $1400 mortgage to pay on the interest and late fees. Let me tell you right now, this house isn't worth more than a 500/month mortgage. The house is ok, but the neighborhood sucks. We had been talking about putting it on the market and renting a house in a better area until I finish school and find a job elsewhere. Then we get a letter from a law firm saying we had a year to pay $32,000 (late fees + interest) to keep the house. Or they would send out a realtor and we can do a short sale. Um hell yeah. Get rid of this house and not have it affect his credit? Um hell to the yeah. So we've been house hunting and I just can't wait to get in a better house in a better neighborhood. I've found a few that I like, but it's slim pickens here. We found the perfect house but I don't think we'll get it because they were apprehensive about our dog....
Speaking of which, we just got a new boxer puppy. We are in love. I love her so much! Her name is Calico (Callie for short) because she looks just like a calico cat and acts like a cat.
This makes me (almost) want a baby!
Because I was so overwhelmed with school i totally fell off the weight loss wagon. I didn't have time/energy to go to the gym and just ate whatever. This week I am back at it because I was finally feeling good about how I looked in a bathing suit and in my clothes. Now I feel frumpy.
Oh and we did end up going to Jekyll Island on Sunday. It was nice getting away. It just sucked we were only there for one night. We went back to the same exact spot on the beach where we said "i do" exactly two years ago!
Cassidy started 5th grade and Zion started 4th grade last week!
Cassidy's first day of school - 5th, 4th, 3rd!
Okay I think that's about everything. If you made it through this long update, bless you. I'm going to try to update more often. I'm hoping this semester won't be as brutal since it's a regular 15 week long semester instead of a condensed 8 week one.
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