june 2 in idea barrages

I would love if sex toy stores had ads on teevee with, like, Crazy Eddie style promotions. “I DOUBLE-DONG DARE YOU TO GET A BETTER DEAL!”

If the Insane Clown Posse really wanted to find out how they worked, they should’ve just hired Magnets P.I.

Of course older folks liked the new Top Gun movie more than any other demographic, all those high-speed jets, they’re sonic boomers.

If she wants to call her vulva her “Mommy Salami” that’s fine, just don’t presume you get to call it that, especially on just the second date. You gotta earn that.

Minor league sports teams always have Fan Appreciation Day and never Fan Deprecation Day but, like, I think that’d be more interesting and frankly more honest. Players just walk through the crowd and boo the crowd for, like, their hygiene, their weird clothes, whatever.

There’s not enough pictures of Mr. T in a Boba Fett costume with the caption “Boba T”, I’ll give you that one for free.

If there hadn’t been a famous dancer named Twyla Tharp, you know George Lucas would’a named a tertiary Star Wars character that.

Every time I see the meme with Mike Tyson making the pigeons kiss and he says “now kith” because of his speech impediment, I just think of the Kids In The Hall because they’ve been KITH in my mind forever.