apr 17 in idea barrages

A parody of Madonna’s “Erotic” built around the line “Orthotic, Orthotic, Sound Footwear Is Healing Your Body”.

LESS CORPORATE LADDER, MORE CORPORATE M.C. ESCHER 4TH-DIMENSIONAL STAIRCASE TO NOWHERE

Sure, you would think that you wouldn’t want to listen to a Scorpions parody about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles called “The Winds of Krang”. You would certainly think that but then be utterly astonished how wrong you were.

They never made a little stuffed doll of Tony Soprano called MY PET MOBSTER and it was just an unforced error. Absolute whiff.

If you really wanna get tail-end Gen Xers to exercise, just name your dang ol’ shop STONE TEMPLE PILATES.

The cycle of American history is like realizing your partner is terrible, trying to leave them but you already have a kid together and then coming back because you want another kid and think there’s some value in their being full-blood relations. Over and over again.

I didn’t realize there’s a Travelodge NEXT to the Circus Circus. If you can’t swing Circus Circus, that’s fine, stay off the Strip at, oh, Arizona Chuck or something, enjoy the absurd beauty of folks collecting their comps at Subway. Sub-Circus Circus sounds worst of both worlds.

The suitcase from FEAR AND LOATHING except its all generic Advil, generic Benadryl and grocery-store-brand coffee K-Cups.