mar 21 in idea barrages

A joke one of my dreams last night wrote -“At my school, we didn’t have Proms or Homecoming Dances, but we did have something similar we call Ligmas.” “Ligmas?” “You know, Ligma Balls.” “…sir, get out of my Wendys before I have you arrested.”

A parody of the song “Kiss Me Deadly” about Dudley Do-Right?

A discarded condom? That’s where the rubber meets the road.

I love the obvious scam-bots on facebook. “Get paid $1,000 a week just to box candy from home!” If people actually got paid like that for entry-level jobs in America, the desperation that fuels scams like that wouldn’t exist and, also, candy would cost a good bit more.

Whenever the “me want Honeycomb!” monster uses proper grammar, only then will he get his cereal. Sometimes the stick, sometimes the carrot. He doesn’t even have to be polite, just grammatical. “I DEMAND THE CONGEALED SUGAR SLURRY!” would be more than adequate.

The longer I live, the more of the notifications in my facebook birthday side-bar will be of people who are gone, digital homonculi demanding birthday wishes for people I cared about, long departed from this plane & the ability to hear my wishes. Modern life, well, it’s rubbish.

If you’re exhausted the next day after marathon sex, are you having a bang-over?

“Take only pictures, leave only victims” would be a hell of a tagline for a movie about murders at a national park.