jan 30 in idea barrages

How about, like, steam-punk but for the age of media on magnetic tape? Tape-punk? Total early-VHS aesthetic. I think that’d be my throwback aesthetic.

Any time a BBQ aficionado refers to themselves as a “pit master”, act confused as though you think they’re saying they are, in fact, The Devil. If the Devil refers to himself as a pit master, do the reverse but, like, the former’s probably going to come up more often than the latter, honestly.

I was watching a video where they compared those Lord/Lady title sale scams to NFTs or those fake star registries and it became clear to me, yeah, that’s crypto too. Crypto is the financial instrument equivalent of buying your name into one of those Who’s Who books no one reads. Except even then, at least the books exist. You could start a fire with them in the power went out.

I mean, really, if I put out another poetry chapbook ever, I’d basically just have to call it “The Quiet Part, Loud”.

The existence of an Al Roker suggests the possibility of an Al Roke and, far more terrifyingly, the threat of an Al Rokest.

I like to imagine people in the Renaissance having Dark Ages fairs, where they all dress up like they’re living in dirt hovels but, like, the Disneyland version of dirt hovels.

A graduated cylinder is just a beaker with a college degree.

I can’t believe they called it “Hooters” when they could’ve called it “Chicken Strips”.