j 4 in idea barrages

I think the way to offend the maximum amount of people at once would be to write a story about Jesus going to a 2,000 years ago wizarding school. There’s something disturbing in there for everyone!

I kinda want to see a SCROOGED / BEETLEJUICE holiday show at a theme park.

A parody of Steely Dan’s Babylon Sisters about online scams. “Amazon giftcard… take it!”

We never got a Christmas Carol where the three ghosts were played by the three stooges and we are all the less for it.

BREAKING BAD but the drug they’re cooking and selling isn’t meth, it’s the suaveness potion from THE NUTTY PROFESSOR.

What most people don’t know is that the Star Trek writers didn’t know what the Klingon language was gonna sound like until they overhead Roddenberry, constipated in the bathroom next to the writer’s room. One frustrated grunt of “Qapla’!” and it all came into place.

I’ve fallen off the wagon of submitting pieces to journals lately, too many rejections and the options I can find look just like the options that already gave an electronically generated “no”. Is this a metaphor for all kinds of things in life? Yes, of course. But also literally.

Lyrics from THE TOD BROWNING’S FREAKS HOLIDAY SPECIAL: “Christmastime for all the carnies / goobagobba goobagobba, one of us / candy canes and all that blarney / goobagobba goobagobba, one of us / monstrous visages from Hades / goobagobba goobagobba, one of us / mistletoe for bearded ladies / goobagobba goobagobba, one of us / gooba gobba gob, you’re one of us!”