j 2 in idea barrages

DECK THE HALLS as sung by Super Mario Brothers’ supporting anti-villain character Waluigi.

we may all be merely the residue
left behind after the creation of the poo
from a certain point of view

It might seem counter-intuitive, but it’s like he was born to be a cashier.

Why say “stretched out on the iron racks” when you can say “rode the ferrous wheel”?

When I watched Charlie Brown Christmas as a little boy, I always identified with Charlie Brown. Now, as an adult, I just identify with the tree.

If you really want to depress someone trying to learn English, show them the name “Ralph Fiennes” and then tell them how that snooty old dude demands you say it.

“You don’t understand,” I tell Steve Rogers, “I’m not photogenic like you, I can’t just post lots of pictures of myself as thirst traps. I gotta go with my strengths. That’s my secret, Cap, all these weird jokes ARE my thirst traps.”

If you’re smuggling tins of Spam, is that congealed carry?