Boys are not erection dispensers. in The Napkin.

Time is short, but it’s a thought I’ve had.

If sex is for her, then it’s performative. It’s his job to produce an erection.

If sex is for him, then her vagina is a wanking sleeve. It’s his job to produce an erection.

I can’t really fault my early partners for passively expecting erections. We’re hit with the importance of foreplay. But, it’s almost always through the filter of foreplay for her. Guy’s not hard? His dick is broke. Girl’s not wet? He didn’t warm her up enough.

Heavy stereotypes that shouldn’t be true, but you know what I’m talking about.

Add in that we live in an age of pornography, which warps what a normal erection is. And new age snake oil salesmen selling rebranded boner pills under the guise of “testosterone”. Look, you might not get those ads, but I do.

Nobody asks, “What is normal testosterone?”

Remember: If someone is trying to sell you something, be skeptical.

Part of why I say I may never have sex again is because of how emotional I am. Coitus, that is. Emotional security and relaxation is what correlates with confident erections.

It might be easier when you’re younger because you have less insecurites, and your partner has less baggage. You reach a point where you know too much.

I don’t even know if that’s true or makes sense.

I like coitus to feel close to my partner. It’s a punch to the heart to yearn for something like that when, well. I may not be able to be that close again? Find someone, that is. So, it’s easier to not think about it.

Do I like vagina? Sure. I’m the goddamned clit commando, and I love when my face is scented by a woman. As I joke, vaginas are nature’s wanking sleeve: they’re designed to feel good on the penis.

But given the athletic nature.

If I take a step back and ask myself when I was the most sexually satisfied. The least stressed. Had to be a play partner who didn’t want coitus - only gave me handjobs. The cunnilingus/handjob ratio was maybe 90/10. Which was fine. She asked to get her pussy eaten, or something I’d ask if she needed a tongue. I asked for handjobs, and I pause to note that asking for something was a huge step.

All due respect to the ladies that hump back, but it’s easy to spread your legs and let a guy nail you. He has to put in the effort to use your vagina as a wanking sleeve.

Taking the time to lube up your hands? Put your gaze upon where he’s most vulnerable? Now that’s affection. That’s attention. That’s care. That’s effort. (Mind you, I don’t deathgrip when wanking, so it’s not like handjobs are that taxing.) Handjobs are underrated.

Anyway, I’m post workout. I should eat. I’m sure my opinions/angle will change periodically, but eh, this is what I blurted out now.