n 9 in idea barrages

Why say “pasta magnate” when you can say “penne royalty”?

An adaptation of the King Solomon story called “To Halve And To Hold”.

Trying to drive in a sleet storm is an obstruction of just ice.

Now, if you get two black triangles and a toothy smile tattooed onto your scrotum and refer to it as “The Sack-O-Lantern”, I appreciate that you’ll commit to the bit like that. You’re willing to do stupid things for comedy and it’s important someone is doing that.

Sometimes I wonder whether I’d be more shocked if I told younger me that there’d be hit movies about Deadpool & the Guardians of the Galaxy now or if I told him there’d be tons of new Star Wars I couldn’t care less about, that moved me in no way whatsoever. Growing old is wild.

Two millennia ago, the best we could do for diarrhea was Immodium B.C.

Your early ’90s comic book name is BLUDPUNCH.

(to the TMNT theme) almost heaven, west virginia/ Almost Heaven, West Virginia/ ALMOST HEAVEN, WEST VIRGINIA / JUST IGNORE THE METH LABS / HILLS ARE COOL!