april 16 in idea barrages

I still don’t get why they don’t counter-program against the college basketball playoffs with a Simpsons marathon called “Marge Madness”. There’s only, like, 35,000 half hour episodes of that show to choose from.

How many years are we away from a sequel series to that horrible Bazongo show called “The New Adventures of Old Sheldon”? Some flailing streaming service will throw money at it looking for a lifeline, you know it.

Macrame! The craft that reads like a pasta!

I miss how you could be weird-looking and still be a romantic lead in a film in the 1980s. ARTHUR. ARTHUR, for Christ’s sakes. At this point, us weird-lookin’ folks barely even have a place on the BBC, let alone as the romantic lead in American cinema.

A remix of SAY ANYTHING where you realize about half the stuff is in Cusack’s head and he’s actually a really creepy stalker and we’re seeing his delusions as our unreliable narrator.

Hipster Conan only drinks crombucha.

A plan is just fan-fiction you write about your own future. Nice to pretend about but nothing more than that. Things outside your control WILL change. The trees that try to stand tall in the storm shatter, the ones that can sway, sometimes make it through.

If you’re ever looking to cover Joe Jackson’s “Steppin’ Out” live and don’t have a drummer, it’s okay, I can just stand behind you and say “boots and cats and boots and cats” for three anna half minutes into a mic, it will totally work.