I really am. Let's start from the beginning. As I mentioned in my last entry, I was growing very wary over his contest prep. For the past three months his life has revolved around the gym, eating, and meal prep. Leaving me and Cassidy on the back burner. Ok, whatever. It's your "dream". You like getting attention, you like people boosting your head up. Great. If that's what makes you happy, good for you. But when it affects and interferes with other peoples' lives, then there's a problem. I can deal with being neglected and not getting attention from him. I have enough going on in my life that I don't depend on him to keep me entertained. However, when his stupid little hobby gets in the way of my responsibilities, work and school, then I have a problem.
His competition was this past Saturday. We had to leave early Friday afternoon so he could check in and whatever. Friday was also the day of my three hour final exam for Chemistry 2 and also Cassidy's last day of school which was a half day. I also had a final lab paper due on Friday that I had been working on all week long. Needless to say, because of his competition I didn't get to work at all, spent all week rushing to get my lab report done and half ass study for my exam, and pretty much neglect all my duties. Once I dropped Cassidy off at school Friday morning, I hauled ass to get back home, start my final exam, and by the time I was done with it, it was time to go pick her up at noon. Then was rushed to shower/wash clothes/pack by 2pm so we could leave for Tampa.
At this point I am so pissed. I did shitty on my final (78%, which he didn't bother to ask me about by the way) and was so fucking annoyed. We get in an argument as were pulling out, but Cassidy was with us, so we couldn't full fledge get into it. He tries to say he does stuff/sacrifices for me "all the time." Really? When was the last time I did something for me that affected you in some way? Oh, that's right... NEVER! I never do anything! I work and go to school and take care of Cassidy. That's it. That's my life. I have no life. I have no friends. The only thing I "do for me" is work out, which is more for him, because if I didn't go to the gym with him, then I'd never get any attention from him.
So anyways, the whole three hour drive down to Tampa was spent in silence. He dropped me and Cassidy off at my brothers house and he drove on down to the registration site at some hotel. The rest of the time we had to act like nothing happened because we were staying with my brother and sister in law. Nothing was ever resolved. Despite him being a douche, I had a really good time being with my family/friends. It was the first time I've been legit happy and feeling whole in a long time.
I also found out despite my shitty exam grade, I got a 99% on my final lab report and ended up getting an "A" in Chem 2 and an A in Anatomy & Phys class. He didn't care about that either. He was too consumed in his self, as per usual. Cassidy also made straight A's for the third quarter in a row, but he didn't bother to take his over inflated head out of his ass long enough to recognize any one else's accomplishments. Why would he? It's all about Bradley.
He ended up winning 1st place in his class. I was really proud of him and happy for him. But my happiness was short lived.
His sister and brother-in - law also came down to Tampa to go to his competition. On Sunday they came over to my brother's house and we all chilled and had a really good time. When it was nearing time to leave I was so happy and having so much fun, I asked Bradley if he could go back with his sister and I could stay there with Cassidy. He was fine with it. Ok, cool.
The next day (memorial day) my brother had to work, but I spent the day with my sister in law (who i used to hate, but love her now) my nephew, and Cassidy. I was going to leave that afternoon, but my brother ended up getting off of work early so we hung out and next thing I knew it was like 6 and I decided to just stay until Tuesday. Okay, Bradley was aware. No big deal.
The next day, Tuesday, I packed all my stuff to leave and was getting ready to leave at noon when I realized that I left my car keys in my brothers car. He was at work, which is an hour away, and he works late. So, I stayed one more night. That's when I start to get bitched at by Bradley. And how everything is about Leigh. Lecturing me like a child, trying to tell me this would never happen again and blah blah blah.
Fucking really? ONE time I do something that I want to do. Something that makes me happy. And it's a problem?? And what difference does it make? He was working. We don't live together. I have one week off of school. Why can't I stay with my family for a few days? Oh that's right, because I didn't ask for his permission and he likes to have complete control over me.
Fuck you dude.
My mom is the same. She's pissed at me because I didn't tell her what I was doing. Fuck you too. I'm 27 years old. I don't report to you. I had Cassidy, so me staying in Tampa did not affect her in any way what so ever. Fuck both of them. I'm so mad right now. I got back yesterday, he doesn't know. I haven't talked to him. I'm back at his house now, but only because he is at work and I don't want to be around my mom. But as soon as he gets off, I am going to go back to my moms. I have no desire to see him. If I do, I'd probably punch him in the face, so it's better that I don't.
I have been looking up jobs in Tampa. OMG there are SO many job opportunities there. There isn't jack shit in Valdosta. He is holding me back. I want to be down there with my family and the only friends I have. I seriously would pack up right now and move in with my brother and say deuces to him and my mom. I don't even care any more. Whatever.
Here's a couple of pics from the trip:
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