feb 9 in idea barrages

No, the BEST way to keep Tobey Maguire in the Spider-Man films would be to film a sequel called THE SPIDER HOUSE RULES. You know you wanna hear Sir Michael Caine say “Goodnight, you princes of Forest Hills, you kings of Queens” to orphaned Tom Holland through a mouthful of beans.

Part of me wants to nickname Ollie the dog “Guy Furry” but, like, he deserves more dignity than that.

The reasonable distance to drive to a given Taco Bell for drive-through is known as its Baja Blast Radius.

I may not be the first person to wonder if DJ Kat and DJ Skat Kat were canonically related. I may not be. The point is that I wondered it and now so do you.

Reminder: The Weather Channel giving winter storms names so that they can pretend they’re bigger stories than they are will never not be dumber than hell.

On the one hand, Red Bull should probably do a promotion where you win free chicken wings. On the other hand, Red Bull definitely needs to sponsor a reunion show for the sitcom Wings.

On Holyland Bus Tours, they do not appreciate if you, on your way to Bethlehem, start screaming HIGHWAY TO THE MANGER ZONE, HIGHWAY TO THE MANGER ZONE.

How about a bumper sticker that’s just like “HONK IF YOU ARE A GOOSE”?