jan 16 in idea barrages

The first time your children encounter The Flintstones, tell them that it was based on a popular cereal. Oh boy, someday they’ll find out the truth and what a laugh you’ll have.

One arbitrary difference between humans that doesn’t get talked about enough: do you make the names of pets even longer or do you make them shorter and shorter as time goes? I have no idea what it says about anyone but I think it says something.

If you drown in a fatal accident involving the Hershey Kiss machine, hey, at least you get a “DEATH BY CHOCOLATE” headline.

I mean, when your name is Mark Hoppus, you’re either going to start a pop punk band or you’re going to be the cover identity of the Easter Bunny as he moves amongst humanity for the summer, fall and winter. It’s a pretty binary choice.

Step 1: Have the last name Hammer. Step 2: Get a law degree. Step 3: Start making ads for an ambulance chasing practice calling yourself Jim “THE LAWYER” Hammer.

The parasocial relationship between QVC and its caller-buyers is the same parasocial relationship between Instagram “influencers” and their people who leave them notes and buy the cheap knock-off make-up and vitamins they sell. Ain’t nothing new under the sun.

Those who weren’t killed in the initial assault on Sodom and Gammorah died in the later pillar fight.

As we retreated further and further into bubbles, into echo chambers of agreement, the only entertainment that resonated with anyone were nostalgic recreations of old stories from when culture was less fractured divided shattered scattered. The universe itself rhymed as poets do.