jan 2 in idea barrages

Pirates used to eat in the gallery but they used up all the Rs and it became the galley.

I feel like we went from double-bladed razors to eight-bladed razors at light speed, meanwhile we’ve been stuck on triple-antibiotic ointment for decades now. STEP UP YOUR GAME, BIG OINTMENT.

There will probably be a future where Disney has absorbed Sony and Warner and in that future, there will be a Batman reboot where Bruce Wayne’s parents were murdered after they took him to see Spider-Man No Way Home. Batman: No Wayne Home.

In a year, we will be forced to consume the Jawalorian. In two, Knights of the Porg Republic. In three, The Jar-Jar Medicine Show. In four, Ewok Around The Clock. It will never end. Death may cyclically release given individuals from Star Wars but Star Wars will remain, Star Wars will continue, Star Wars will not die, Star Wars is the New Death. The sun will turn red some day, expand, engulfing the four inner planets and reducing everything man once believed its purview to ash. Baby Yoda dolls will be for sale on Jupiter’s moon Europa. Attempt no landings there.

Art is an excruciating in-grown pimple that lingers for months and hurts the most at the point of release but at least then you know the pain will go away after that. Except, if you were born into wealth to begin with, sometimes people will pay for the gunk from inside you.

If you really want to get a tea advertisement to go viral, just pay Mr. T to legally change his name to Mr. Twinings.

Red pill, blue pill, I’m the guy with the maximum allowable dosage of Advil PM.

The Saturn car brand would be alive and well today had they called their holiday saleathons “Saturnalia”.