Skewed Perspective. in The Napkin.

  • Oct. 17, 2021, 2:56 p.m.
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  • Public

I might be wrong, but I feel like, in writing, I have a better grasp of the Female Perspective than the Male Perspective. As in, I’m able to get into the headspace of my female characters easier than my male characters.

Males feel foreign, unrelatable, irrational. Females feel like their motivations make more sense. I don’t know how to write males without them being some stereotypical dumbass. And most of my female characters end up being goddamn awesome. And they avoid the Mary Sue, because there’s always some emotional depth to them that makes you go “Oh. Yeah, that makes sense.”

I don’t know how to write males positively.

(Internalized misandry? ‘Sup.)

Let me use menarche as an example.

Now, I know it may be shocking information to some, but I am a dude, with a penis, who identifies as a dude with a penis, who was raised as a dude. I’m a dude-dude, dude. As such, I have zero experience with menarche. So, all I know is from those ladies who have shared their experience with me.

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(Simply asking women “so… what’s it like?” is a pretty low bar, dudes. Wanting to know their perspective shows you care.)

So, I can put myself in the headspace of a female character. You’re going about your day. You go pee and discover there’s blood on your panties. I believe the phrase is, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” This reaction can range from a resigned sigh, to rage over the destruction of your favorite panties. But, you otherwise go about your day. That’s what you do. More or less, eh?

On the other hand, I’ve heard stories of guys being really, really stupid and ignorant regarding menstruation. And, as I am not painfully stupid, I can’t wrap my mind around it. The only way I could write such a perspective is for the male really to be painfully stupid.

I don’t know the male perspective. I know the Timmy perspective.

I don’t understand how males can be capable of doing bad things the way they do.

Mind you, I subscribe to a feminism which acknowledges that women are just as awesome AND just as shitty as men. Women can be quite shitty, let’s agree on that. I’m not pedestalling women.

Yet, thinking just now. If I write a shitty woman… she’s almost easily the same headspace of an “average male” to me.


Heh, I’m back to not knowing what I’m saying, not having a conclusion, and I LOVE it.


Oh, some bonus content. Here’s an easy way to handle public speaking. It is to utilize the five-paragraph essay we all had to do in high school. Which, really, is three parts. Just three:

Tell the audience what you’re about to say.

Say it.

Tell them what you just said.

It works EVERY TIME.


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