Behold, the Power of Pants. in The Napkin.

The Power of Pants compels you!

Well, okay, I don’t really wear pants much. Especially in this climate, it may not get cold enough to warrant pants this year. I’m serious. I’m THAT guy that wears cargo shorts and flip-flops all year long. I’d rather pop on a hoodie than submit to the Power of Pants.

Serious query: How often do you wash your pants? I’m painfully aware that I’m an outlier on this one.

I have one pair of cargo shorts.

One.

Just one.

One shorts to rule them all.

Oh sure, I have half a dozen gym shorts. Those HAVE to be washed. They get soaked in all my naughty TimmySweat. I’m all for au natural, but I also submit to basic hygiene.

And yes, I do wear pants for workies. But, that’s separate. And I have two pajama pants. (One is heavier than the other.)

But my shorts? I’m doing some laundry (towels) and it occurred to me that I haven’t washed my shorts this month. I’m not sure I washed them last month. I follow the soft “wait until there is a stain” rule of thumb.

Now, I’m not a complete slob, just a partial one. If I’m gymming and working the same day, I can equip 3 separate TimmyKnickers. Socks immediately go into a pile after one use. Shirts may get a day or three. If I only wear a shirt for a few hours, what the hell is the point of tossing it in the laundry pile?

I guess the obvious question is: why do you need more than one pair of shorts?

At least, I have no need for more than one. Changing over my wallet and other pocket supplies annoys me.

Though, I will note I have some nice cords I forget I own, some sweatpants I forget are there…

Oh, a note about towels. Why wash them after a single use? Especially if you’re just drying your hair. (Hair like mine, using two towels is useful.) At the very least, I can reuse a towel by making it the next shower’s floor-towel. Gosh, maybe I am a little neurotic in my neatness, ha ha. But seriously, there is nothing worse than stepping in water when you’re wearing socks.

Also. Washing your pants/shorts less often means they’ll last longer. Less money spent on pants means more money to spend on tacos.

PS: While I don’t have a current official count, last time I counted knickers (bikini briefs, thongs, g-strings, etc) the sum was over 70.

Last updated October 15, 2021