oct 8 in idea barrages

I think if you wanted to come up with the worst aesthetic ever, “the bastard child of Ed Hardy and Lisa Frank” would be a good place to start.

Do the neo-fascists know that whenever we see the Gadsen Flag we all yell that the snake is saying “STEP ON ME, DADDY!”? Do they get that their politics of juvenile selfishness are actively hilarious and that we’re all just laughing at the Step On Me Daddy Snek?

I hope that Britney Spears will do some ad campaigns now, just to piss off her former oppressors. Fun ones! Like Denny’s starts making an eggs benedict and she’s like “IT’S BRITNEY, BRUNCH!”

“Mom, we want to get a Zoom call!” “Kids, we have Zoom calls at home.” At home, to the children’s dismay, Mom shows them Microsoft Teams.

I feel like 83% of the internet’s business model is reminding us of times we felt terrible so we shut down with depression and stay on the internet. See: facebook memories.

I just hope there isn’t a porno parody called ANTIQUES CHODE SHOW.

I think I’ve figured out the Dark Matter problem in astronomy. The universe needs a bunch of mass that is indistinct and undetectable for the math to work, right? Innocuous, forgettable bulk. Could all of that dark matter just be Ed Sheeran?

A flim-flam artist saunters into a small town in the grips of a seasonal allergy epidemic, promising a miracle cure, in the new hit musical THE MUCUS MAN.