july 5 in idea barrages

Everyone thinks that the tortoise and the hare is about a turtle and a rabbit but nah, man. Different animals. The story of the turtle and the rabbit is just two dudes chillin’ in a field, eatin’ on some lettuce, no competition, just good dudes at peace. It’s a better moral!

When AOL was falling apart, I sure hope there were a lot of YOU’VE GOT FAIL headlines.

No one else remembers that one show WHERE PETS WORE SHIRTS, my mind’s stuffed with lost irrelevance TILL MY SKULL HURTS, cheap kiddie low-art, the chimp talked like Bogart, SHIRT TALES, woo-oo! Saturdays with sugared haze and SHIRT TALES, woo-oo!

Updating Nirvana lyrics for 2021: Just because you’re doom-scrolling doesn’t mean that you’re not doomed.

Combining the short-lived Legend of Zelda license for the doomed Phillips CD-i system with Steely Dan mathematically results in the phrase “Gamelon Sisters… shake it!”

My mind was built to wander, for I am a meanderthal.

There are Ayn Rand books in libraries, rare copies of Marx can go for a lot of money, no matter who you are, no matter what you believe in, fame plus time will eventually betray you.

Batman would be proficient at all forms of Sexy Times, just in case he needed to perform them in battle. That’s Batman’s whole THING.