june 30 in idea barrages

WHAT? My name is. WHERE? My name is. WHO? My name is, wacka-wacka, it’s Fozzie.

Tonight I realized the best possible drag name is “Stevie Thiccs”.

The pizza at Charles Entertainment Cheese’s was a maguffin, a token plot convenience, the Maltese Falcon. The thing everything was supposed to be about, the empty meaningless device around which the actual plot turned. You’re actually there for pinball and horrifying robots.

Remember: Everything you don’t like in Star Wars or Star Trek, that movie or episode is just an in-universe propaganda piece by the Empire or the Cardassian Empire or whatever. A scoffing satire of the idiot good guys. Your enjoyment will go up 83%.

You were all so obsessed with seeing if you COULD write a parody of the Grateful Dead’s “I Know You Rider” about Winona Ryder that you never asked yourselves if you SHOULD write a parody of the Grateful Dead’s “I Know You Rider” about Winona Ryder.

Really, looking as he does, how is he called “Mister Peanut”? He obviously looks like he’s called “Peanut Butler”. The pun was right there. The pun was laying there, begging you to bring it into the world. How do you screw that one up so very badly?

Every rich idiot now thinks they must use their wealth by inheritance or theft to be an astronaut or president. Justifying empty cruel “accomplishments” with titles of manufactured leadership. Go actually help people, maybe you’ll be remembered as something other than a hoarder.

Singing to the tune of Rammstein’s “Du Hast”: TOO. TOO HOT. TOO HOT IT’S. IT IS TOO DAMNED HOT.