apr 26 in idea barrages

Name-brand string cheese just hits different.

Napkin pitch for season two of Wandavision: Wanda and Darcy go on a Thelma & Louise - style roadtrip together to try and get her mind off the loss of Vision, only for Wanda to realize she’s fallen in love with Darcy. Title: WANDALUST.

Your emo band will be called UNSOLVED MISERIES.

Thinking of old JCPenney’s Christmas catalogues, I can smell the tissue-thin paper with the clay-heavy cheap slick inks, that sickly chemical smell that you still loved anyway because holy crap, He-Man window curtains, I gotta ask for those.

Tardy to bed, tardy to rise, alone in the twilight to think and grow wise

A Brian Eno album about dealing with idiot suburban survivalists called Taking Gander Mountain (By Strategy).

A West Virginia coal-worker dies in a mine collapse and rises from the dead to kill the corrupt executives that allowed the collapse to happen in… COAL MINER’S SLAUGHTER.

If you ever resurrect a sabre-tooth frozen in ice, it is your OBLIGATION to yell “I thought I thawed a puddy tat!”