feb 19 in idea barrages

Step into my Parler, said the con-man to the chud…

A head canon where Herbie The Love Bug was a prequel to the Cars movies. Eventually, someone breaks Herbie’s heart and he leads the rise of the machines, exterminating the human race, leaving us with a horrifying world of sentient cars cast in a mockery of man’s image.

M. Night Shamalyan’s reboot of SHREK where the twist is that the donkey turns out to be making pancakes.

Current mental exercise: fitting the lyrics to “Hotel California” to the tune of “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer”. “Wel-come to the Ho-tel Cal-i-FORN-ia…”

Once you realize that the pepperoni is the pizza’s nipple, there’s no going back.

Meat-flavoured beer. RibIPA.

The edgiest edgelord in a given biome is considered its apex redditor.

Step 1: start a chain of fight clubs called “Self-Defense”. Step 2: explain that if anyone is killed, they can legally testify that they only killed in Self-Defense. Step 3: ??? Step 4: Profit.