dec 22 in idea barrages

A cult leader who forces his followers to workout to death called Gym Jones.

I respect the Keurig machine for its tenacity in its endless requests for descaling and the water filter being changed but that does not change the fact that these things will never happen.

The first person who looked at a lion and said “let’s selectively breed these down to the size of a loaf of bread and then have them chill with us in our houses”, that’s the kind of crazy long-game vision we need to save the world.

Erotic fan-fic is just speculative friction.

If you have an outdoor baby shower under a big ol’ dang plastic tent, you can refer to it as The Parent Tarp.

Hiring a centaur to manage your office, joyously: “You will be the glue that holds this place together!” Reading the last will and testament of your office centaur, how he wants his remains disposed, sadly “You will be the… glue that holds this place together.”

Apparently, when my bard yelled to the wizard telling him “Use your magic missiles, Nick!” it sounded like “USE YOUR MAGIC MISSILE DICK!” and it became a meme. This is what poor Jake the Bard of Patches gets for trying to help.

MENTATS! THE SPICE TAKER!