july 29 in idea barrages

You are being carried piggyback through the city streets by your leather slave at high speeds. You leap off while he continues barreling downhill. You run alongside him, now, while your crew chants “GHOST RIIIDE THE GIMP, GHOST RIIIIIDE THE GIMP!”

I can’t be the only one who sings RHCP’s “Give It Away” as “Jeff DUNHAM, has an awful puppet, Jeff DUNHAM, like a racist Muppet, Jeff DUNHAM throw him in a tar pit, why do people pretend that he’s funny when he’s not, kid”?

I don’t know if “Charli XCX” makes good music or not, I just had to make sure it was music and not a soft reboot of “Ben 10”.

In the debates of The Shopping Cart Theory, no one seems to point out that the shopping cart is the property of a corporation, in most cases, and that they have the responsibility to make its retrieval part of a decently-paid job, not leech off the public to let them off cheaper.

Do you know how old I am? I can vividly remember when The History Channel transitioned from being all World War Two documentaries to all Aliens and Bigfoot. That’s my age.

Niche cable teevee is a race to the bottom from the original format that got it noticed to the cheapest crap they can churn out, watched on the fumes of its former following. It’s the hostile-takeover sell-the-parts vulture capitalism of television programming.

Girl in her 20s, in Stewarts, screaming her head off how it’s her “right as an American” to not wear a mask. Lurlene thinks she’s gonna live forever. Common decency was around long before America was a gleam in some slaveowner’s eye, kid. (Yes, she was buying White Claw.)

If you put the right wig on Don Knotts, you could totally get him to look a lot like Mick Jagger.