july 17 in idea barrages

In honour of Little Richard, the song for the dog is “GOOD GOLLY, IT’S OLLIE, HE’S FAT LIKE A HOG, OOOOOO”.

He can’t enjoy the Pokemon games, due to his crippling Blastoise intolerance.

Imagine if the magic/technology behind The Magic Schoolbus existed but was only used to teach little kids. “Figure out free energy by shrinking down to the level of the quark? Sorry, Timmy needs to learn how the butt works!”

Crepes filled with candy bugs called “Crepey Crawlers”.

Now my brain is generating a parody of the Drifters “Ruby Baby” (specifically the Donald Fagen cover) about that jerk Rudy who made up a wildly exaggerated story about his football career so as to become famous.

Somewhere two very mediocre white people in Utah are using their quarantine time right now to fertilize an egg that will someday be a baby boy named Flynndyn. He will grow up be a back-up quarterback in the NFL.

If someone says “Calgon Take Me Away” three times into a bathroom mirror, they are taken to hell by Calgon the demon of bubble baths and aerobics wear.

Little Richard had a potion he could take to become a giant manly man called “Big Dick” when he needed to fight crime. His battle cry was “BIG DICK PUNISH!”