june 26 in idea barrages

I’m not a man of faith, I’m not even a man of hope really, compassion is more my jam, but I’ll give you this one for free: either we are all God’s children or none of us are. We’re either each and every one of us holy and precious or none at all.

My laptop’s camera makes every Zoom chat look like my last known photo.

I haven’t written a parody of Leonard Cohen’s “So Long, Marianne” about Gilligan’s Island but I just want you to know that it is a threat I am capable of carrying out at any time.

Zoom’s other important role in this pandemic is making you acutely aware of how much you touch your own face.

An absurdist reboot of DENNIS THE MENACE where Mr. Wilson is the Beach Boys’ Brian Wilson. David Lynch directs.

If you think about it, when pirates yell “Yaaaaaaarrrrr” at each other, it’s really just a booty call.

It’s looking like, in the South, the Coronavirus is about to rise again. We’re dealing in some really really dark ironies here.

IKEA is just Legos for people who sadly think they’re too grown up for the awesomeness of Legos, think adults are supposed to want boring-ass minimalist furniture instead of tiny spaceships, but still want to build things to Scandinavian baffling instruction sets.