may 5 in idea barrages

For like thirty years, I’d been wondering why The Shredder didn’t take his facemask off, even when he went undercover as a normal non-supervillain non-ninja. It seemed ridiculous. Now I realize Oroku Saki was just a man ahead of his time.

The internet sure goes from “flak vests look weird under polo shirts” to “THE GOVERNOR HAS PIERCED NIPPLES!” quick these days.

Yeah, I was singing along to “You Get What You Give” as “Don’t Let Go, You’ve Got The Mucus In You”. That’s what all the cool kids do.

A bracket of the worst things about going to Ikea called “The Swede Sixteen”.

If it didn’t come off as exploitative and dismissive, I’d start work on a collection of poems about past lovers and new and old crushes called “Love In The Time of COVID-19” and explore the different kinds of distancing and desire play together.

Don’t yell “YOU GOT A GREAT BUTT!” Whisper “…you are the cakes boss…”

If you think about it, a cowboy hat and leather spats are the true ranch dressing.

Fittingly enough, Minions became the most despicable meme.