apr 30 in idea barrages

Maybe the problem is that we called it COVID-19 or Corona Virus. Maybe if we’d called it The Rhythm people would take it more seriously because of the subconscious programming people of a certain age have to fear that “the Rhythm is gonna get you”.

Wonder Man lifting The Vision up into the sky on a cliffside with the title THE ION KING.

When you get water in your head and it causes an infection where you hear uproarious laughter even when what happened wasn’t funny at all, that’s called Schwimmer’s Ear.

Think of it like Ice Cream Social Distancing. If you’re close enough to pass the ice cream, you’re too close.

This is your brain: pleasant background noise. This is your brain on DOUG: “NA-NA-NAH, NA-NA-NA-NAH-NA-NAH-NAH, NA-NA-NA-NAH-NA-NAH” on loop until you claw your own ears off. Any questions?

Benihana’s actually wasn’t started by a Japanese chef at all. It was just some Irish guy named Benjamin Hanna who liked setting tables on fire and stumbled into the perfect excuse.

They could hire Cake to rework The Distance into being about social distancing. I’m sure it would really appeal to people, like, my age, and I’m sure Cake needs the work.

DESPERADO and CANDLE IN THE WIND mash up surprisingly well.