two-stall barrage in idea barrages

1.) Gotta lose it all? Poker, man!

2.) A redheaded orgy is called a Ginge Binge.

3.) She was such a proper lady that even when providing an old fashioned in the backseat of a car, it was with one pinkie out.

4.) In spring, the trees will come back, by poplar demand.

5.) You might say that because of facebook's most recent buy-out, tech-geek culture is facing an Oculus... (takes off sunglasses) ...Rift.

6.) Those who rock, do. Those who can't, Christian-rock.

7.) Don't confuse loneliness with desperation. Sometimes you're lonely because your tastes are specific or your standards are high.

8.) So, wait, the hashtag #proteinparty isn't about bukkake? Twitter, you disappoint.

9.) One television tie-in I feel we really missed out on was Hill Street Booze.

10.) When businessmen say they "wanna get in a quick nine holes" they're rarely talking about golf.

11.) There's a kind of freedom in knowing you can't avoid the site of your spiritual depantsing cuz you've been spiritually depantsed everywhere.

12.) The less people that opt-out because they think shared society "doesn't work" the better shared society works! It isn't rocket science.

13.) Cynic says "that can't work". Skeptic says "that can't work unless you prove it". The former's easier but the latter's far more rewarding.

14.) Don't obsess over introvert/extrovert labels, internet. They limit you. Be yourself and move forward in joy, categories just weigh us down.

15.) Do you know how hard it is for me to write a happy ending? It feels like cheating.

16.) I want a program that can find all the phrases I overuse in my poetry so I can make a poem out of them.

17.) cheddar gouda velveeta, honey, don't you know that I love you/cheddar gouda velveeta, baby, don't you know that I'll always be true?