apr 22 in idea barrages

Nah, a “My Sharona” riff about Corona virus, that’s easy level parody, that’s Local Morning Zoo level. Get you a man who sings “Covid Covid Covid Covid Chameleon” to himself in the shower.

If the news your newspaper is sharing could save lives and you put it behind a paywall, you are committing journalistic malpractice. Like, sure, paywall your interview with Kylie Jenner or Mike Trout if it gets you a few extra dollars but c’mon.

I finally realized that Adam Carolla looks like a xerox of a xerox of a xerox of a xerox of a xerox of a xerox of Norm MacDonald.

An easily embarrassed rapper called Flusta Rhymes.

White chocolate Hershey’s kisses look like tiny Klansmen, which should be offensive, until you lean into it and pretend you’re Woke Godzilla, only eating racists and the cities invite you to do your holy work. Just keep eating until all the racists are gone.

Valiant is the RC Cola of comic books. Like, if you’re in a weird bodega where it’s the only thing on sale, you’ll drink it, it’ll do the trick but if you have the choice, it’s just not the same. (In this analogy, Image is Jolt Cola.)

It only works if you know a conceited acrobat but if you DO know a conceited acrobat, “jerk de soleil” is the perfect insult.

“Drain me out!” the built-up fluid demanded of the sterile needle. “Well,” the needle responded, “if you in cyst.”