a particularly scattershot barrage in idea barrages

1.) Charlize Theron REALLY uglies it up with Frankenstein make-up in her new Oscar bait project MUNSTER.

2.) Only way I'd ever run the Boilermaker would be if someone was shooting a reverse Super Size Me documentary about my training.

3.) Sometimes you gotta get yourself together instead of helping others so that you can be strong enough to help others later.

4.) I put the "sumptuous" in "presumptuous".

5.) We have given way from chain reaction yawns to chain reaction smart phone checks. One person checks then we all do.

6.) That weird point where you know so many wrestlers, burlesquers and roller derbiers that you forget some people don't have stage names.

7.) Making plans will break your heart every single time and twice on Sundays. Live and move forward in life instead.

8.) As long as there is life there is hope. And as long as you both are breathing, there are always takebacksies. There are always takebacksies.

9.) I want a shirt that says "BILL HICKS WAS RIGHT" with a picture of Hicks between the BILL HICKS and the WAS RIGHT and I wanna wear it always.

10.) James Dean didn't die drunk on a motorcycle like a rebel, he died with apple pie in his gut having wrapped a rich man's car around a tree.

11.) You know maybe we should, as a consolation bracket, allow John Kerry and Mitt Romney to run against each other for President of Rich People.

12.) What does Dr. Dre wear under his pants? Nothin' but a G-string, bay-bay.

13.) Just, like, pay me and I'll tell you all the horrible things that will happen. I'll be a misfortune teller, it'll be awesome.

14.) Tom Cruise playing a bootlegger who likes to dance around in his undies. It's called "Whiskey Business".