mar 10 in idea barrages

  • March 9, 2020, 3 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

  1. Knowing he would some day inherit the family’s shredded cheese fortune, he was a man of grate expectations.

  2. I wonder if one of those loan-bundling scam houses has ever tried to license the Daleks off the BBC. “CONSOLIDATE! CON-SOL-I-DATE!”

  3. I mean, I’ve adapted pretty well to trying to restart my life after my dad’s passing in 2018… I’m working five days a week again, at places I believe in and where I’m slowly getting better at my jobs. I continue to write and be involved with multiple local open mics and small arts groups. But there’s still this hole in me of not having a partner to share all that with. All I can do is keep working on myself, for now, I s’pose.

  4. The Three Wise Men were followed by The Three Karens who all demanded to speak to the manger.

  5. In this nightmare, I was on an international flight quarantined for potential Corona virus, became a political bargaining chip as a captured America and had a total nervous breakdown in my detention. That was… a thing.

  6. If you take the shoes away from someone with a fetish for ridiculous footware, they cry crocophile tears.

  7. “Why are you chasing your tail?” I ask the cat, “You’re never going to catch it, even if you did, there’s nothing you could do with it.” The cat looks up at me, I know what he wants to say. “Why do you keep writing?” Fair point, Mister Felix.

  8. I mean, yeah, I was singing VOLARE as “Jumanji, whoa oa oa oa, I’m playing, whoa oa oa oa”. Why weren’t you?


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