littlefallsmets ⋅ 45 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,130
Page 77 of 206
july 25 in idea barrages
1.) Seals have an eleven month gestation cycle so please allow forty-six weeks for delivery. 2.) My Eminem parody about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles “Ooze Yourself” would definitely include s...
july 24 in idea barrages
1.) Your C.B. radio lothario persona will be called Heart Breaker Breaker. 2.) You are stuck behind a chucklenuts in a pickup truck going 42 in 55, as if he is incapable of understanding anyone e...
july 23 in idea barrages
1.) We will open up a shop that sells you specific insults to snap back at your naysayers and we will call it DETRACTOR SUPPLY. 2.) Why did we call it a “flat top” when we could be calling it “cu...
july 22 in idea barrages
1.) If you break a bed, is that mattresscide? 2.) I didn’t keep up with the zeitgeist of the LION KING remake and didn’t write a Skynyrd parody called “Simba Kind of Man” and it’s my fault. I ble...
july 21 in idea barrages
1.) They spread rumors about “aliens” to throw Grandpa off atomic testing and stealth plane testing, now they’re getting you to submit your face-scans by making you look old or the opposite gende...
july 20 in idea barrages
1.) The next big gold mine is selling inessential oils. Useless oils you buy and display just to prove you have the money to waste on meaningless oils. 2.) I just wrote down “van. syrup” on a not...
july 19 in idea barrages
1.) The late 80s one-hit wonder for The Escape Club “The Wild Wild West” would be hilarious if covered in the style of Bob Dylan. 2.) On Twitter they’re always having a hate wave. A TOPICAL hate ...
I had no idea how badly it would end but then again, I also had no idea how long it would last. Waking to a CPAP mask ripping off my face, being told her mother would be there with a U-Haul withi...
july 18 in idea barrages
1.) Less “fake it til you make it” more “go with it til you grow with it”. 2.) I am offended that Amazon picked a non-prime date for “Prime Day”. 715 is utterly divisible by 5. 3.) Planning for ...
theme word: candescent, title: fear itself in misc. flash fiction
Reports of the disorder started bubbling up through medical journals sporadically beginning in the mid Twenty-Twenties but at first no one but cutting-edge researchers took it seriously. The whol...
july 17 in idea barrages
1.) Your really posh rap group will be called Haughty By Nature. 2.) The most revolutionary thing we could add to the Star Wars universe would be, like, a planet with more than one biome. Like a ...
july 16 in idea barrages
1.) “WORKERS OF THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY UNITE! SEIZE THE MEANS OF CHEESECAKE PRODUCTION!” would be one hell of a bumper sticker. 2.) Your Electric Light Orchestra parody about Rachel Ray will be c...
july 15 in idea barrages
1.) The realization that in 2019 if “WKRP in Cincinatti” were real, it would now just be an unmanned station that repeated a Tony or Jack satellite programming feed beamed out from like Scottsdal...
july 14 in idea barrages
1.) One of the few things sadder than having a kid thinking it will save your doomed relationship is having a kid thinking it will save your played-out youtube channel. 2.) Tagline: “Ain’t No Rul...
july 13 in idea barrages
1.) Remember WHY “militia” is so pivotal to the 2nd Amendment. It was never about arming people to overthrow an oppressive gov’t, it was a sop to slaveowners who wanted armed militia with which t...
those great “crazy geniuses” did their best most valued and well-remembered work during extended periods of lucidity and/or recovery the works of “madness” were generally crap either ...
listen there were always gay folk there were always trans folk just now they’re coming forward react with love and understanding and not...
crossroads in poetry
no guitar or crossroad is required if you want to sell off your soul you just need a three-piece suit you just need a heart like a hole the devil no longer waits at the city’s edges li...
students alone in poetry
rebellion’s hard to get done when they’ve got us all pressed down check-to-check and deep in debt and on the run forever let’s be real the crushing student and medical debt heaped on mil...
completion in poetry
I’ll be whole when I’m dead which sounds depressing but actually its goddamn joyous as long as I am imperfect flawed and uncompleted I can grow and learn I can evolve and change ...
july 12 in idea barrages
1.) If you view every movie about a scruffy lovable dog on Netflix in one sitting, that’s called Benjwatching. 2.) Hark, what malady vexes yon varlets where they would besmirch my lady fair/what ...
july 11 in idea barrages
1.) A parody about Zeus’s terrible vengeance called “Greek Lightning”? 2.) Sadly, the one-eyed one-horned flying purple-people eater was driven to extinction through its overly exclusive diet. Th...
july 10 in idea barrages
1.) Amoungst the Fremen of Arrakis in DUNE, the most popular contraceptive technique was the “don’t walk with rhythm” method. 2.) Nobody WANTS to hear you sing “Total Eclipse Of The Heart” purpos...
july 9 in idea barrages
1.) When complaining about how things are different from the past, at least consider that there might be a reason why the way it used to be doesn’t work anymore. Just because the past was your pa...
july 8 in idea barrages
1.) (They don’t care that he’s so stupid he’d claim there were airplanes in the 1700s if that’s what the teleprompter says. He legitimizes their horrifying racism, that’s all they want out of him...
