littlefallsmets ⋅ 45 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,130
Page 70 of 206
nov 25 in idea barrages
If you sell freeze dried pork products, the only acceptable name for your line is Kelvin Bacon. If you celebrate your victory by blasting precious sensitive indie-rock at your fallen opponent...
nov 24 in idea barrages
But if I DID own a bakery supply store, it’d surely be called KNEADFUL THINGS. Eventually, as with all bands, Mumford and Sons will have one or two remaining members desperate for cash, touri...
nov 23 in idea barrages
Big Guitar is just playing Guitar Leftists and Guitar Rightists against the Guitar Center. Wake up, sheeple. If you pick up and throw the guy dressed as Elmo in front of Times Square as far a...
keyword: quell, title: sturdy and unhinged in misc. flash fiction
Most can’t say they’ve had the Secret Service begin to draw their guns on them but, then again, I’m not most people. Most folk can date level-headed partners without getting bored out of their sk...
nov 22 in idea barrages
TAKE ME DOWN TO THE PARROT ICE CITY WHERE A GOOD SNOW CONE IS STILL A BUCK FIDDY, OH WON’T YOU PLEASE BUY A CONE? How hasn’t Marilyn Manson done a song called Demons Are A Girl’s Best Friend?...
nov 21 in idea barrages
. He hurt his back falling into a wardrobe, suffering a narniated disc. If he had REALLY wanted to piss off Han Solo, Kylo Ren could’ve invited his dad to a meal of truce and during the desser...
nov 20 in idea barrages
Lula roe is actually the eggs of people who demand to speak to a manager. Being trapped in my mind means spending a morning considering if the theme song to STAR TREK ENTERPRISE was ripped o...
nov 19 in idea barrages
I don’t think that Mad Magazine ever did an article about being emo called “Welcome To The Blech Parade” and I think we’re all a little less for that. A magic item that gives you, like, +4 st...
nov 18 in idea barrages
This sentence either is a tautology or it is not a tautology and that’s why it is a tautology. Maybe as we all are mortal, we should view all interactions with each other as palliative care. ...
keyword: collage, title: extraction in misc. flash fiction
They say when you’re about to die, your life flashes before your eyes and while that’s kind of what it’s like, they’re not quite right. Flashing before your eyes describes a strict linear order, ...
nov 17 in idea barrages
In trade for giving us a female James Bond, we will let you cast the antagonist as an apathetic millennial supervillain named Dr. Meh. For Halloween, I’m going to dress up as a functioning me...
nov 16 in idea barrages
The REAL Loch Ness monster was Dr. MacFrankenstein, the head of the Loch Ness Tourism Board. I can’t recall what I had for lunch yesterday but I can sing you “Be cool about fire safety, be co...
nov 15 in idea barrages
step 1: carve a small axe out of a skateboard. step 2: refer to it as your tonyhawk. step 3: ??? step 4: PROFIT! Just walk up to someone say “needless to say” and then walk away. The dog an...
nov 14 in idea barrages
If I owned a minor league sports team in Macon Georgia, I would definitely call them the Macon Love. A Star Wars branded footrace called The Darth Maul Half-Marathon. If you get really cons...
nov 13 in idea barrages
If your clothes spontaneously generate as you take them off, you are a Moebius stripper. A parody of Centerfield about the hell that is flight entirely predicated on the double meaning of the...
nov 12 in idea barrages
Evolutionary Skills For The 21st Century: The Ability To Figure Out How To Get To A Live Operator. I hope some people who know Rainn Wilson call him Rainn “The Doc” Wilson. They’ll use your...
nov 11 in idea barrages
Upton Abbey gonna give it to ya (ooh) Upton Abbey gonna give it to ya (ooh) It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you see through the false dichotomy of winning and losing. In an alter...
nov 10 in idea barrages
I wish I could tell you how to kick higher but I’m no Rockette scientist. Some day, you will see an aged Paulie Shore grooming his front yard. When that moment comes, you are to scream “GARDE...
mirror in the sky in poetry
the moon doesn’t know you the moon doesn’t know you look up to it for a light out there in the darkness the moon doesn’t know itself does not think about how it reflects the sun any more ...
the bail-out in poetry
I look up to the sky sometimes these days and ask “the bail-out’s never coming for me, is it, Dad?” by bail-out, I mean, you know, something like the lotto the big check, the windfall, the G...
nov 9 in idea barrages
Usually when heroes crossover, you have to really stretch to create a misunderstanding that results in them initially fighting but considering Mario dwells in the sewers murdering turtles, his ...
nov 8 in idea barrages
A Star Trek third-person shooter game called GEARS OF WORF. Your 50s rock/doo-wop band that sings about horror movies will be called “Freddie and the Kruegers”. Your pastry chef rap group w...
nov 7 in idea barrages
Eventually, there should’ve been a raid on McDonaldland by Mechagrimace. On the run from the mob, Whoopi Goldberg goes into witness protection as a septic system repair woman in CISTERN ACT. ...
nov 6 in idea barrages
A grand opening flier still up in a window for a business across town that’s already shut down. The window is for a shop that’s now closed too. Trumps America. If you say “fresh starts” 20 ti...
it was funny once but only a little bit back when we would say things like “I’m just putting off success until I’ve built up enough experience and humility, my failures have all been ...
