littlefallsmets ⋅ 45 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,130
Page 69 of 206
dec 19 in idea barrages
When people like Kanye West “speak for God” they are saying they believe they are God, just with a thin veil of politeness over their delusion. Dude should be under intense psychiatric care, no...
dec 18 in idea barrages
Some people, when a bonfire starts to go out, will then proceed to stand around and bitch in the cold, demanding someone else make another. I am more the kind to instead bring a votive candle t...
dec 17 in idea barrages
The children of Abraham have it wrong, I fear, history is not a straight line toward one big glorious ideological explosion. It’s the Norse who had it right, all we can do is hold off Ragnarok ...
dec 16 in idea barrages
I see your signal right up there in the sky, you say you’re vengeance and you say you’re the night, go punch a clown, go punch a clown, I’ll tell you once more before you’re knee deep in gore, ...
dec 15 in idea barrages
I’m not saying that you have to mash up Black Magic Woman and Sober, I’m just saying that you should. Holy communion is mass-produced. The incompetent herpetologist couldn’t tell an asp fro...
dec 14 in idea barrages
I feel like dingos just need a rebranding. No one would be afraid of a “g’day mutt”. On top of all the other problems with the soft rock song “Centerfold”, like, what does he think he’s “savi...
dec 13 in idea barrages
You’ll know they’ve started running out of nostalgic properties to re-make when they try starting the Punky Brewster Animated Cinematic Universe with PUNKY BREWSTER AND GLOMER: GLOMING THE CUBE...
prompt: comeuppance, title: what goes up in misc. flash fiction
There are only two escalators in the entire state of Wyoming. Well, four, two sets, matching up-and-down pairs, just two sets in two banks in the same city, not even the capital Cheyenne, in its ...
dec 12 in idea barrages
People kill and die in revolutions. Evolution slowly weeds out the failed for the new. Forgive me if my empathy outweighs my impatience and I’d prefer an evolution instead. We are healthy to th...
dec 11 in idea barrages
Yeah, I was singing Rocky Mountain High about Ricky Martin. Sure. Why not. There is a world of difference between being proud of yourself despite your troubles and being proud of being messed...
dec 10 in idea barrages
Tightrope walkers need to maintain work-life balance most of all. Ours is probably the only other universe, other than the HOME IMPROVEMENT universe itself, where Americans would be dumb enou...
dec 9 in idea barrages
An argument in a sauna can quickly escalate into heated debate. If the pope swapped out the Swiss Guard for a bunch of warrior nuns to ensure his safety, would they be an order of protection?...
dec 8 in idea barrages
You have no idea how many times I thought they were saying Donkey Kong in the song WINDS OF CHANGE before I realized they said Gorky Park. If I were on a campaign bus through Iowa, I would de...
dec 7 in idea barrages
All I know about “modern” country is that their names could all be the names of like mid-tier WWF wrestlers. I’m pretty sure there’s some dude out there named Luke Bryan but I’ve no idea if he’...
dec 6 in idea barrages
A reality show about tracking and confining business people trying to manipulate public policy so that they don’t have to pay their fair share of taxes called Shirk Tank. My love language is ...
dec 5 in idea barrages
You’re lucky I don’t know diddly about The Dragonballz else I’d be doing a parody of the entire musical EVITA about Vegeta. A robot band should count off their rhythm in binary. Sometimes I...
dec 4 in idea barrages
Before our society completely collapses, we really ought to bury some stashes of McDonalds memorabilia strategically so that the alien anthropologists think the McDonaldland characters were act...
dec 3 in idea barrages
If Canadians can somehow stomach the horror that is Clamato, there should be a Canadian protein drink called Mussel Milk. I feel like the disgusting touch screens at McDonald’s are a stealth ...
dec 2 in idea barrages
They didn’t need the help of the world’s fattest knight to win the battle but it was nice to know he was there anyway. It never hurts to have Sir Plus. A series of BDSM-themed workout videos ...
dec 1 in idea barrages
“Better than any of the Terminator sequels after T2” is the definition of damning with faint praise. I just realized what we can call the super rich evangelical extremists propping up Trump i...
nov 30 in idea barrages
Mr. Bean but actually made of beans. Without all the weird hair and beard and whatnot, Guy Fieri kind of looks like Ted Cruz’s non-evil twin. The most terrifying concept I could come up wit...
nov 29 in idea barrages
In Soviet Robocop, machine rages against YOU. If something is similar in form and tone to Billie Eilish is it Billie Eilishish? Basketball with fighting like 70s hockey would be called BATT...
nov 28 in idea barrages
The Flash complains that the Cosmic Treadmill isn’t allowing him to time-travel and it’s really bringing him down. Batman explains that the Flash was accidentally using the Hedonic Treadmill in...
nov 27 in idea barrages
Neurosurgery is often unnerving. On Soviet tumblr, otherkin identifies as YOU. The Swiss phrase for a Swiss Army knife roughly translates back into the English as “the toothpick that is mis...
nov 26 in idea barrages
83% of all kids’ movies could be ended three minutes in by the phrase “Yes, there is actually a rule that a dog cannot play basketball. It is the very first rule to basketball in the basketball...
