littlefallsmets ⋅ 45 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,160
Page 57 of 207
aug 5 in idea barrages
We cannot say that Rachel Ray has EATEN human flesh, that would be absurd, but she is rich and powerful enough where it is almost certain that it has been offered to her in all seriousness at l...
aug 4 in idea barrages
If you remember the GARFIELD comic strip being good, you are confusing it with the television shows, which were often good. The strip was at best bizarre. It is a flaw of our minds that we conf...
aug 3 in idea barrages
The optimal Muppet-based Van Halen parody would be Panama/Animal, yeah? A documentary on the state of pornographic film industry during the COVID-19 pandemic called THE NUDE NORMAL. Were Al...
aug 2 in idea barrages
Singing “Head Like A Hole” with “Doug Funnie” instead of “God Money” won’t do you any material good but it’ll put a smile on your face. A ham sandwich double-fried in a tempura-panko kinda cr...
aug 1 in idea barrages
This Christmas, after the third wave of the plague, when moving the Elf on the Shelf don’t forget to use hand santatizer. A head canon where the Russian stereotype boxer and the Italian stere...
july 31 in idea barrages
We just crossed the point, long past where they thought they could ignore a plague with magical thinking where they’ve finally decided it’s real but if they let enough people die, they can call...
prompt: bark, title: driven to distraction in misc. flash fiction
You must understand, I felt like a failure. Disappointed and lonely, didn’t know what to do. I’d accomplished all these things, made all these things but all I could feel was anxious emptiness. I...
july 30 in idea barrages
“I find the term Public Defecation so limiting,” she said, “I prefer to say that I… void where prohibited.” A hippie vampire called Count Erkultur. Olive’s cousin who is always trying to ro...
july 29 in idea barrages
You are being carried piggyback through the city streets by your leather slave at high speeds. You leap off while he continues barreling downhill. You run alongside him, now, while your crew ch...
we owe a lot to the darkness despite how we always degrade it assign it to negatives treat it like a hell we owe a lot to the darkness we go in the darkness to sleep we go in the darkness...
understood but not spoken in poetry
I’m burdened with knowing a language that I cannot myself speak the language of music oh, I can re-write the lyrics of others pretty well and can carry a half-a-tune I can ...
july 28 in idea barrages
“Vagina dentata is such an ugly term,” she said, “I prefer to say… Georgia O’Teeth.” Look J. Jonah Jameson square in the eye and whisper, in your best eastern European accent “In Soviet Russi...
july 27 in idea barrages
They say “Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Death”, they mean “Give Me Liberty Even If It Means Your Death”. An Eminem parody built around the line “Whoops, there goes Hannity” would be fun. If yo...
july 26 in idea barrages
If you work out to death, you are visited by the gym reaper. I have little risk of such an encounter. Here we are on the precipice of a disaster we cannot imagine and that is why we fail, a l...
july 25 in idea barrages
A rapping rabbi called Biggie Schmaltz. Possibly assisted by Sean “Purim” Combiwitz. It is impossible to see a picture of Pete Davidson in 2020 without thinking “The quarantine has been reall...
july 24 in idea barrages
Sean Bean, Billy Beane and Rowan Atchinson’s shared podcast THREE BEAN(E) CASSAROLE. It’s like Jaws except about a sasquatch, it’s called FEET and the catchphrase is “We’re Gonna Need A Bigge...
july 23 in idea barrages
Power fantasies about violent revolution are just as cruel, impotent, counter-productive & inhumane on the left with guillotines as they are with assault rifles on the right. Society is too...
prompt: orange, title: fast times in "the next big thing" flash fiction
Before it became The Suburbs, the San Fernando Valley north of Los Angeles was just a bunch of orange groves. You can still receive lectures from local old-timers about those days, whether they a...
july 22 in idea barrages
Payouts at a horserace are set by first determining the likelihoods of wins and losses via a Gallop Poll. A Hall and Oates parody about Flo on ALICE. “My grits, my grits, that you should kiss...
july 21 in idea barrages
If you misheard the lyrics as “Splinter taught them to speak Japanese” you’d only be literally wrong but right within the spirit of the cartoon’s canon. I can only hear the Popeyes jingle as ...
july 20 in idea barrages
As a teenager, Richard Nixon was a carnival barker for the Slipper Gulch Rodeo, which served as a cover for an illegal gambling operation. (A) Yes, of course. (B) How did you all not call him “...
july 19 in idea barrages
You know what would be a hoot? Opening a bar in the expensive suburbs of D.C. called “Undisclosed Location”. Run into the deli yelling “MATZO MATZO MAN, I WANT TO SEE THE MATZO MAN!” Probably...
july 18 in idea barrages
If you manage to get President Zachary Taylor to roll over in his grave, you’ll really flip your whig. An unpretentious pornography shop for the common man called “Everyday Peepholes”. A ph...
july 17 in idea barrages
In honour of Little Richard, the song for the dog is “GOOD GOLLY, IT’S OLLIE, HE’S FAT LIKE A HOG, OOOOOO”. He can’t enjoy the Pokemon games, due to his crippling Blastoise intolerance. Ima...
prompt: just, title: you won't believe your eyes in misc. flash fiction
They say “necessity is the mother of invention”, and while that’s often true, it omits the part where necessity often also skips right past intention, how so many of our great leaps forward devel...
