littlefallsmets ⋅ 45 ⋅

I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.

with enough repetition, your flaws become your style

@Cecconi140

Entries 5,159

Page 54 of 207

We can’t say, with any modicum of certainty, that prominent talk show host Rachel Ray has ever dined upon a human being’s flesh. That would be patently absurd to state, of course. Absolutely unp...


September 28, 2020

sept 30 in idea barrages

If Poppin’ Fresh the Pillsbury Doughboy got all ripped and jacked in the gym, would he then be Shredded Wheat? A prequel to RABID GRANNIES called MOMBIES? The Kool-Aid Man bursts through th...


September 28, 2020

sept 29 in idea barrages

Mayor McCheese’s dandruff would be sesame seeds. The hideous truth is that those who are fine with lynchings, killer cops, school shootings, destroying women’s rights etc ARE the plurality of...


September 26, 2020

sept 28 in idea barrages

Remember when a cheap red baseball hat meant “Fred Durst” at worst as opposed to meaning “the person under this hat is a fascist”? God, they were more innocent times or, at least, we could hang...


September 26, 2020

sept 27 in idea barrages

A Faygo-flavoured breakfast cereal called “Juggle-Os”. Everyone was all like, horror and classic novels, all “Emily Bronte Battles A Mummy” or whatever but no one went the drug direction with...


September 24, 2020

sept 26 in idea barrages

I want a little poster of Michael Jordan in a cubicle with a headset in front of a computer and the slogan. “Just Do I.T.” If you get off on being talked to like a pirate, that’s ASMRrrrrrr. ...


September 24, 2020

sept 25 in idea barrages

The smell of garden hose baking in the heat, half the stale water bubbling up within, half cheap rubber gassing-off in temperatures it can’t fully sustain. The smell of summer, but in that bad ...


September 22, 2020

sept 24 in idea barrages

Never forget that Trump tried to get the Central Park Five framed for murder & executed for no other reason than that they were black. That’s the bastard’s pattern, his primary goal is fame...


September 22, 2020

sept 23 in idea barrages

I just realized that the people at the Tulsa Hate Rally were LITERALLY OK boomers. She considered “ob-gyn” such a formal title for what she did. She preferred “privates investigator”. “Leve...


September 20, 2020

sept 22 in idea barrages

If I ever make a “story” on facebook, it is because my fat fingers slipped while writing a status to my timeline. No shame to those who use that feature but I am so much not a visual thinker th...


September 20, 2020

sept 21 in idea barrages

The Covid Covid Cabana show drew like a weekday 1PM baseball game in the Northeast in April. Neat. The GOP has two things left, the only two things it’s had to run on since the 90s. Racism &a...


You’ll drive down from the San Fernando Valley, from the strivers and the strife, the immigrant markets with names you can’t pronounce and the white kids from the East Coast going broke for their...


September 19, 2020

sept 20 in idea barrages

Another good name for the Tulsa Hate Rally is, of course, “Covidpalooza”. Pizzadu. Stately home of Charles Entertainment Cheese. There is only one remaining mystery to the mogul’s death, his ...


September 19, 2020

sept 19 in idea barrages

Has anyone tried to get the nutbar conspiracy theorists to waste all their money buying up Paw Patrol toys or still-racist boxes of Uncle Ben and Aunt Jemima, telling them they’re gonna be valu...


September 16, 2020

sept 18 in idea barrages

Two weeks or so from now, a new Tulsa massacre, rednecks dying in respirators instead of burning down Black Wall Street. It will be poetic, of course, but I’d rather no one died, myself, not ev...


September 16, 2020

sept 17 in idea barrages

When young, all you want to do is see the world burn for all its cruelty. When old, you see how righteous rage like that is where all the cruelty comes from and want to save the good remaining ...


September 14, 2020

sept 16 in idea barrages

There are worse things to name your car than “Liam Nissan”. You know what’d be a really niche parody? Metallica’s “Harvester of Sorrow” about the manager at a Sbarro’s. When you first hear ...


September 14, 2020

sept 15 in idea barrages

I like to think that in the aftermath of that “Do You Love Me Now I Can Dance” song, it turns out that she loves him even LESS now that he can dance because he’s such a damned show off about it...


September 12, 2020

sept 14 in idea barrages

I despise guns but grew up in gun culture & pay attention: look at gun ads in magazines 30 years ago, they’re all some guy bringing in a duck, holding up the antlers of a buck. Now they all...


September 12, 2020

sept 13 in idea barrages

Breyers Ice Cream and Lindt Chocolates should get together and do a flavour called “Breyers Lindt”. Your indie rock band will be called “The Abandoned Breadmakers”. Think about it. Every Amer...


Casinos have no clocks upon their walls, casinos have no windows at all, ugly carpets forever force us to look up at pretty blinking lights demanding we press our luck. It isn’t accidental, libra...


September 10, 2020

sept 12 in idea barrages

Why didn’t P. Diddy ever sell “Puff pastries”? An even more jank Long John Silvers, like a K-Mart Long John Silvers, an even worse pirate themed fish chain called Yaaaaaaarbys. A terrible n...


September 10, 2020

sept 11 in idea barrages

Seeing Adam Sandler’s career devolve into terrible direct-to-video releases to give his old buddies jobs, maybe the Emperor should’a told him how his faith in his friends was his weakness not, ...


September 10, 2020

phantom limb in poetry

there are imaginary places in my dreams I have seen so very many times they eventually feel more real than places I’ve actually been confected places conflated places amalgamations of...


September 08, 2020

sept 10 in idea barrages

The huge M.C. Escher hit “Can’t Navigate This”. A movie about how NASCAR drivers use adult diapers so they can keep turning left called PEED RACER. A cartoon about Goofy as a composer calle...


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