littlefallsmets ⋅ 45 ⋅

I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.

with enough repetition, your flaws become your style

@Cecconi140

Entries 5,159

Page 51 of 207

She stared at him in disbelief, which is to say she stared at her boyfriend in Disbelief, Nevada. Disbelief, named as such since no one believed its founder’s claims he was building a shining cit...


November 29, 2020

nov 30 in idea barrages

She’s the loose canon one slip-up away from getting kicked off the force. He’s the rookie just out of the academy who was magically conjured from a children’s book. Together they fight crime… a...


November 29, 2020

nov 29 in idea barrages

I love when fads completely come and go without me. It’s the best thing about being old. “Whipped coffee”? Nah, dog. I don’t need my java in Nickelodeon Gak form. Now it’s deader than the Charl...


November 27, 2020

nov 28 in idea barrages

A rap about Alfred E Neuman called “Baby Got Blech”. If every single sponsored ad on Youtube is “by a company I would sing the praises of even if they didn’t pay me” then… maaaaaaaybe a whole...


November 27, 2020

nov 27 in idea barrages

I hope that on the Enterprise they call their ship’s bathhouse “The Docking Bay”. That’d be clever. If Disney ever wants to counter Space Jam, here’s my pitch: Dunk Tales. The thing about c...


November 24, 2020

nov 26 in idea barrages

Your corporation’s leader of COVID compliance should be called a Chief Personal Protection Practice Officer so she or he can call her or himself the company’s “C-3P-O”. The maximal name for a...


November 24, 2020

nov 25 in idea barrages

If the couple are supervillains, is the honey-do list a honey-doom list? I kind of get it when a small news websites hit me with the “YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF PROTECTING YOUR COMPUTER FROM VI...


November 23, 2020

nov 24 in idea barrages

The woman in the stirrups looked down in stunned silence that her 14 hours of labour produced not a human baby but rather a piping hot pizza. “It wasn’t delivery,” the doctor sadly intoned, “it...


November 23, 2020

nov 23 in idea barrages

I saw a sign for a Chinese restaurant called Great Wall and I was transfixed with how awesome it would be if it just said “Eat Wall”. When I win the lotto, I shall bribe them to remove the G an...


November 23, 2020

nov 22 in idea barrages

I knew a man Bazinga and he mocked the weird With worn-out tropes Nerd cliches, a dumb catchphrase and forced laugh-track Dashing all hope He feigned OCD He feigned OCD Mocking a real disease M...


Your failure saved the world, you know. Yes, you. The one reading this. This message has been distributed publicly so you won’t end up targeted, like shortwave broadcasts available anywhere but d...


November 19, 2020

nov 21 in idea barrages

There are worse noms-de-guerre than “Carlton Banksy” I suppose. Why not call wedding receptions “happily-ever afterparties”? This life’s disappointments almost uniformly flow from how so ma...


November 19, 2020

nov 20 in idea barrages

Yes, IN SECURITY would’ve been a much much much better title for PAUL BLART MALL COP than PAUL BLART MALL COP but the pun would’ve surely been wasted on such a terrible film that only existed f...


November 17, 2020

nov 19 in idea barrages

It’s a good thing Hoobastank disappeared like the stank of a Hooba grazing in the distance on a stiff breeze before we had the cross-promotion of Hoobastank Hubba Bubba gum, that phrase would’v...


November 17, 2020

nov 18 in idea barrages

“Abundance” he muttered. “Thanks,” she replied, “that means a lot.” I mean, we still don’t have a Christopher Lloyd endorsed liquor called “Great Scotch!” That’s disappointing. Remember the...


November 15, 2020

nov 17 in idea barrages

When I was young, if you’d mentioned “waterboarding”, you’d’a just thought it was an old person trying to remember the word for “surfing”. It’s good the horrors are no longer secret but it’s st...


November 15, 2020

nov 16 in idea barrages

I think fan-fiction crossovers COULD be fun, but it’s always something boring as hell, like… Stephen Universe meets Adventure Time or Sailor Moon meets Dragonballz. Now, Popeye meets The Tempes...


Dicey Propositions (or Natural Ds) (or Roll for Inspiration) (or Audiences & Idiots) (or Imps & Idiots) A short-form improv show built around the conceit that the scenes and characters a...


“You got a fast car.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” It went on like that. They didn’t have a Ouija board or a tarot deck in that small shack, so they augured with what was to hand. Board games,...


November 13, 2020

nov 15 in idea barrages

Go into the store. Swap the labels on the marshmallow Fluff and the mayo. Make the world a weirder place. Don’t worry about expanding your orchestra. There’s always room for cello. A film w...


November 13, 2020

nov 14 in idea barrages

Lazy fish-mongers are a leading cause of mackerel degeneration. The measure of intellect is not in being right. Any damned fool can be right, by aping someone else or by random chance. The me...


November 13, 2020

felix in poetry

sometimes it’s a leaf on the breeze or maybe a fabric tag flickering in the corner of my eye-line a flash of movement at the periphery of my senses and I forget that he is gone a belo...


November 12, 2020

nov 13 in idea barrages

Sonic the Hedgehog online fandom ruined the phrase “Knuckles Sandwich”. Substituting Bob Marley for Jacob Marley makes it a whole different story, is all I’m saying. Meg White’s evil oppos...


November 12, 2020

nov 12 in idea barrages

You could write a hell of a parody of The Band’s “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down” about the irony of Herman Cain decrying COVID as a hoax then dying of it. “Herman Cain was the name and he...


November 10, 2020

nov 11 in idea barrages

Two out of three Stooges agree, the other is Fine. A rap version of THE MONSTER MASH built around a sample of someone yelling “Hey! Must be the mummy!” All I really know is, if you drove a ...


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