littlefallsmets ⋅ 45 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,214
Page 51 of 209
jan 18 in idea barrages
Baseball teaches us, in metaphor, things too difficult to accept straight on. Example: the best relief pitcher to ever exist will only become that because he wasn’t good enough to even be the w...
jan 17 in idea barrages
These deluded fools, they feel like failures and cling to the lie that their whiteness makes them better because it’s all they have left. They’ll cling to religion and guns to try and protect t...
jan 16 in idea barrages
If I were part of a supervillain duo, I would make our code-names “Collaborate” and “Listen” so that when a superhero or a cop or whatever yelled “STOP! COLLABORATE AND LISTEN!” people would st...
jan 15 in idea barrages
I am sick of hipster interpretations of Santa Claus where he is svelte. Why can’t we have Old Saint Thicc instead? Baby Yoda, here we go again, my my. (I would write the parody longer but tha...
jan 14 in idea barrages
In a bunk bed, someone always oversleeps. Took a nap and had a nightmare that I went back and tried to change the Grinch before the events of “Stole Christmas”, causing him to spoil the child...
jan 13 in idea barrages
The name “George Wonka Bush” actually explains a whole lot of things. The presses fired up for another printing of Finnegan’s Wake and there was much reJoyceing. Some people found it heartw...
“Identity’s the real problem here,” she told her wife, dragging another word processing file to the trash, “no one knows what to do with identity anymore.” Her wife could’ve well pointed out how ...
jan 12 in idea barrages
NOW MAAAAAYBE/ YOU’RE RUINING YOUR FRIES WITH GRAVY / CUZ AFTER ALL / POUTINE’S A BAD CALL How is the Republican party like a pack of Lunchables? Any potential there is ruined by being filled...
jan 11 in idea barrages
When the alien anthropologists find the sports stadia of old America, will they rightly understand them as the temples and shrines of our governmentally-supported civic polytheism or will they ...
jan 10 in idea barrages
The larval form of the frogman is the minnowtaur. I was wracking my brain for a reality where U2’s existence was a net-positive and I only could come up with, like, maybe if in hell they play...
jan 9 in idea barrages
The weirdest thing about Trump is how much of his cult are just living vicariously through the crimes and sins, like someone watching the terrible unlikable characters on ENTOURAGE or BIG BANG ...
jan 8 in idea barrages
I love saying the word “autumnal” almost as much as I love pretending that its mid-year equivalent is “sumerian”. If I could teach America one fact, it would be “Just because someone agrees w...
jan 7 in idea barrages
If you say “Shandyman” three times into a mirror, a ghost appears and ruins your beer by pouring cheap lemonade into it. The word “internet” is actually derived from the ancient Greek “intras...
prompt: might, title: you get used to it in misc. flash fiction
If you’ve ever seen someone who isn’t American try our chocolate for the first time, you might be surprised to find they say it tastes like puke and truth is that they’re right. The standard form...
jan 6 in idea barrages
Ask not what The Bartman can do for you, ask how you can better do The Bartman. 2020 has been an infinite regression of Rubicons. We keep thinking there are no more lines we could cross and y...
jan 5 in idea barrages
A movie about Sesame Street getting canceled for being bigoted against grouches called UNFOLLOW THAT BIRD. When you invest your entire savings into a medical marijuana dispensary, you’re tota...
jan 4 in idea barrages
Little high-test micro Bloody Mary called a Mary, Queen of Shots. It’s a haiku, it’s a koan, it’s a haikoan. The only haikoan 2020 requires: how many psychic fairs were cancelled beca...
jan 3 in idea barrages
You didn’t need pizza on a bagel to have pizza any time. You always could’ve had pizza whenever you wanted. It was societal expectation holding you back, not a bagel’s lack. Free your mind and ...
jan 2 in idea barrages
I just hope that in the worst named television show of all time “Shasta McNasty” the lead character had an arch enemy named Shasta McNamaste who was like a super chill yoga bro who always upsta...
prompt: syrup, title: the real stuff in misc. flash fiction
“Gimmie the real stuff,” the old man said each and every time he ate there, “not the fake crap they gave us in ‘Nam.” Whenever he was in that diner, he ordered the pancakes and eggs and whenever ...
jan 1 in idea barrages
The removal of the intricate animatronic floorshows diminished Chuck E. Cheese from Child Las Vegas Casino all the way down to Child Gas Station Just Over The Nevada Border With Eight Video Slo...
dec 31 in idea barrages
That South Park “all the sides are equally stupid because they’re trying and everything that tries is stupid, FART NOISE” energy certainly doesn’t play well these grim days, that’s for sure. ...
dec 30 in idea barrages
Since “pomme de terre” is French for potato, I hope a vodka sommelier is called a “pommelier”. The realization that with the proper slant pronunciation “Guy Fieri” can rhyme with “Mom’s spagh...
dec 29 in idea barrages
What kind of an idiot bankrupts a casino? It’s literally a license to steal money. “Mister Loaf was my father, please, call me Meat.” Sanders, the Icarus moment for the American left, a del...
dec 28 in idea barrages
When we don’t sleep, the push-downs become the bubble-ups. Let yourself sleep. Those push-downs, they can stay down there for one night, it’s okay. They’ll be there tomorrow and the fight will ...
