littlefallsmets ⋅ 45 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,214
Page 48 of 209
mar 18 in idea barrages
The hip-hop term “OG” stands for “Olive Garden”. Every time I see Kyra Sedwick in a television ad I think she’s Amy Sedaris and that’s a compliment to them both. If you think about it, on F...
mar 17 in idea barrages
That goat giving birth is just kidding. Traditional at a ghost wedding, of course, is sheet cake. Somewhere, there’s an EDM button pusher who performs as M.C. Rib. If the SEX IN THE CITY ...
mar 16 in idea barrages
Now that The Weeknd has a Super Bowl half-time gig, you’d think he could finally afford to pay for that missing “e”. Nothing like watching your first NFL game start to finish in years to reme...
mar 15 in idea barrages
singing “When you read until there’s pizzas, PARP it like it’s hot, PARP it like it’s hot, PARP it like it’s hot” Have a merchandise sale in the middle of March called THE IDES OF MERCH. If...
mar 14 in idea barrages
I’ve seen more arrests in front of the Renaissance Bar after a drunken cat fight over Canal Days than I’ve seen of these penny-ante stormtroopers breaking into the Capitol with guns and Confede...
prompt: tremor, title: principled uncertainty in misc. flash fiction
To you, it might seem like a superpower to see what we can see but I swear that it’s the opposite. You’re the ones with the powers to not see it, to not have to deal with it, to not bear witness ...
missed america in poetry
oh but that we could just stuff ourselves with the emptiest of calories and drift on off to sleep free of our shared responsibilities never having to wake up never having to make the cho...
mar 13 in idea barrages
Few years back, a tattoo parlor in Albany was getting boycotted for being Proud Boy sympathizers & all kinds of lefties were like “c’mon, I really like my tats there, you guys!” Everyone sa...
mar 12 in idea barrages
Y’know. After years of studying his list, I think this Craig fellow might be a pimp who has too many couches. Oh yeah, middle of January I realize how good a parody of Santa Baby “Satan Baby”...
mar 11 in idea barrages
Sell your trendy IPA to furries as “BruWu”. Why not. All rules are off. It’s Vincent PRICE PRICE BABY, it’s Vincent PRICE PRICE BABY… The French cheese wizard. The Fromage. The amount of ...
mar 10 in idea barrages
Today was the day they met the right Fall Out Girl and became Fall Out Man. The best way to let someone know their nipples are showing through their shirt discreetly is to tastefully tactfull...
mar 9 in idea barrages
A Spanish-Irish breakfast fusion restaurant called “Tapas The Mornin’ To Ya”. New Age yo’ momma jokes are like “Yo’ momma so unenlightened, her akashic records written in Karmic Sans.” WICH...
mar 8 in idea barrages
Of course it seems like everyone you heard about who won the lottery was ruined by it. THOSE WERE THE ONES STUPID ENOUGH TO BE HEARD ABOUT. Lotta people just peaced out discretely and are livin...
mar 7 in idea barrages
The internet is the ability to be judged against the best at all times and always come up lacking. There was a time if you were the strongest or smartest or best looking of the 200 people you’d...
mar 6 in idea barrages
If you love all kinds of pizza toppings, are you panpizza? Are you personally panpizza? When Baby Yoda grows up, he’ll be like “I prefer to be called by my full name, Grogury, please.” Betw...
mar 5 in idea barrages
My fear is that 2020 will have been the Jar-Jar Binks of years: so clearly horrible that you thought it an aberration but, really, it was just setting the bar for the REALLY bad stuff to come, ...
mar 4 in idea barrages
If we were all Pez dispensers, we could load a tube of Pringles down our throats and shoot little sour cream & onion discs at our enemies. A Soundgarden parody about Super Mario Brothers ...
mar 3 in idea barrages
I feel like if I ever got the opportunity to put out a short story collection, I’d have to go with the title “It’s Not Okay and That’s Okay”. Italian Restaurants: sell garlic knots to ironic ...
mar 2 in idea barrages
Can you really still be mad at Luke for giving up on being a hero in THE LAST JEDI after being pummeled by 2020 for twelve months? At this point, I’m like “Yeah, Skywalker, you have a point, my...
prompt: leap, title: leap day in misc. flash fiction
“Look before you leap,” she cooed seductively, “and you’ll never leap at all.” “Just do it,” she would howl if you didn’t jump immediately, hovering in mid-air twenty feet off the ledge over the...
mar 1 in idea barrages
Krampus? Yeah. That’s terrifying. You know what’s REALLY terrifying? (whispers in your ear) The Tooth Furry. I was today years old when I realized that “Some Kind of Wonderful” and “Heartache...
feb 28 in idea barrages
A story about characters who have had fleeting encounters with The Crow called “The Gothman Prophecies”. See if you can convince someone that you think “BDSM” stands for “Buford / Denver The ...
feb 27 in idea barrages
I don’t know what the Heathcliff/BEEFCLIFF meme would look like, I just know it needs to exist. The New Mutants character Sunspot had the nickname Berto for Roberto and grew up very very rich...
feb 26 in idea barrages
The logical endgame of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter is, of course, Schrodinger’s Butter. You cannot know if it is or is not butter until you open the box. Uber but the driver shows up in a...
feb 25 in idea barrages
The optimal name for a punk band is “Shrektal Thermometer”. We haven’t had a mash-up of CITIZEN KANE and A CHRISTMAS CAROL yet. A Scottish cake boss may well have to make the bagpipes with ...
