Entries 5,129

Page 46 of 206

Lucas is just salty that Disney-Plus isn’t making a spin-off series about his four-armed 1950s diner chef, Guy Lom-Bard-0, or whatever the hell its godforsaken name was. 25.12 is octopi, to t...

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Anything a member of Smashmouth drinks before the encore at the state fair is technically a Rockstar energy drink. Is there… another terrifying Pinocchio live-action movie, where Roberto Pani...

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The double negative of “ain’t no” actually suggests that either there are actually many parties like West Coast parties or that West Coast parties do indeed eventually stop. Sometimes I think...

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this is my body hoc est corpus hocus pocus hokey pokey hokum hoax this is our blood whoever’s the best at comforting lies gets all the money and hurts us the most

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Maybe Roger Rabbit was really framed by the friends we made along the way. Your Street Fighter musical will involve the song “Hello Dhalsim”. If you think about it, the ending to ITS A WOND...

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How has there not been a Zoom fundraiser of some kind where Tilda Swinton stars in a read-through of an old FRASIER script? This seems like a no-brainer to raise money for some cause or another...

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The seven or eight same royalty-free songs that all Youtubers use are the elevator music of our time. A leather shirt and body hair, that’s just the bear minimum. A burlesque show themed ar...

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I am no man of faith but I know this much, the divine cannot be an excuse to hate, it must be a mandate to love. A cleaned up Johnny Cash song called WHOLESOME PRISON BLUES. A brand of Poli...

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Love is our greatest blessing, love is our highest calling, love is our toughest challenge, love is our holy burden, love is the direction, love is the location, love is the speed, love love lo...

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That lawyer in the really nice basketball shoes, he is your court-appointed attorney. His brother was also in the cereal navy, as a pastor attached for troop morale. He would consecrate the m...

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grief replaces memory slower than the tides still getting the job done nonetheless inch by inch one atom at a time like fossilizing bone to eternal stone those fossils...

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when the alien anthropologists find the massive sport stadia so central to our civic infrastructures as megaliths sprouting cities-within-cities beside they will mistake them as ou...

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if you’re famous enough when you die they’ll name a street after you somewhere your name will live beyond you somewhere everyone will know your name somewhere if you’re famous enough when y...

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it’s always a goddamned tragedy when a once-transcendent entertainer retreats into conservative safe spaces when the world thinks they’re washed up believing no one’s left to listen except no...

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I feel it each unsleeping night my head my heart my soul, they are kingdoms of almost empires of not-quite unquiet with the roar of infinite just-missed grazed up asi...

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A parody of David Bowie’s “Let’s Dance” that’s like “LET’S REST, take off those tight shoes and… rest a few…” It is good to see that we can still come together as a a nation on Thanksgiving ...

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The “power of positive thinking” is a confidence job, sold to you so you’ll sit around dreaming and wishing instead of getting in the way of powerful horrors. The Power of Pragmatic Action, tho...

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There are no films starring Rob Schneider. Oh, there are films where he is the performer with the most screen time, for sure, but do not let us define down “star” like that. Which would be be...

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We pretended we were in a movie, that’s how innocent we were, how dumb. We walked up to the perimeter the teachers were holding away from the school then we moved in slow-motion away again. As if...

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“You may be able to hold your liquor,” the bartender said, “but your liquor isn’t ever gonna hold you. Might hold you back, I don’t know, that might be me undercutting my own business model, but ...

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SPECULUM CABLE - JUST LIE BACK AND TAKE IT. The funny thing is how the Q-Anon theories about how “Trump can still win!” are almost exactly the same in form & tone as the tumblr “no no, th...

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Yeah, I’m singing “Copa Cabana” about Parappa The Rapper. Proposition One: we all get to be one year younger because this year can’t count. Proposition Two: we all get to be ten years older b...

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The magical thinking of New Age frauds and the magical thinking of the Trump/Q-Anon frauds are the same kind of wishful gibberish, transcending any kind of ideology, don’t be surprised when ove...

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You wanna know what’d be a worst of both worlds situation? LinkedIn Park. The greatest decadence, the worst hubris of all, is the belief that you’re the good guy in perpetuity. That no matter...

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Three hoarders having sex is a garage a trois. Surviving through the darkness, that’s the easy part, the real struggle is making sure the darkness doesn’t survive through you. “Mister Miste...

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