littlefallsmets ⋅ 45 ⋅

I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.

with enough repetition, your flaws become your style

@Cecconi140

Entries 5,129

Page 45 of 206

March 07, 2021

mar 10 in idea barrages

Today was the day they met the right Fall Out Girl and became Fall Out Man. The best way to let someone know their nipples are showing through their shirt discreetly is to tastefully tactfull...


March 07, 2021

mar 9 in idea barrages

A Spanish-Irish breakfast fusion restaurant called “Tapas The Mornin’ To Ya”. New Age yo’ momma jokes are like “Yo’ momma so unenlightened, her akashic records written in Karmic Sans.” WICH...


March 07, 2021

mar 8 in idea barrages

Of course it seems like everyone you heard about who won the lottery was ruined by it. THOSE WERE THE ONES STUPID ENOUGH TO BE HEARD ABOUT. Lotta people just peaced out discretely and are livin...


March 05, 2021

mar 7 in idea barrages

The internet is the ability to be judged against the best at all times and always come up lacking. There was a time if you were the strongest or smartest or best looking of the 200 people you’d...


March 05, 2021

mar 6 in idea barrages

If you love all kinds of pizza toppings, are you panpizza? Are you personally panpizza? When Baby Yoda grows up, he’ll be like “I prefer to be called by my full name, Grogury, please.” Betw...


March 05, 2021

mar 5 in idea barrages

My fear is that 2020 will have been the Jar-Jar Binks of years: so clearly horrible that you thought it an aberration but, really, it was just setting the bar for the REALLY bad stuff to come, ...


March 01, 2021

mar 4 in idea barrages

If we were all Pez dispensers, we could load a tube of Pringles down our throats and shoot little sour cream & onion discs at our enemies. A Soundgarden parody about Super Mario Brothers ...


March 01, 2021

mar 3 in idea barrages

I feel like if I ever got the opportunity to put out a short story collection, I’d have to go with the title “It’s Not Okay and That’s Okay”. Italian Restaurants: sell garlic knots to ironic ...


March 01, 2021

mar 2 in idea barrages

Can you really still be mad at Luke for giving up on being a hero in THE LAST JEDI after being pummeled by 2020 for twelve months? At this point, I’m like “Yeah, Skywalker, you have a point, my...


“Look before you leap,” she cooed seductively, “and you’ll never leap at all.” “Just do it,” she would howl if you didn’t jump immediately, hovering in mid-air twenty feet off the ledge over the...


February 27, 2021

mar 1 in idea barrages

Krampus? Yeah. That’s terrifying. You know what’s REALLY terrifying? (whispers in your ear) The Tooth Furry. I was today years old when I realized that “Some Kind of Wonderful” and “Heartache...


February 27, 2021

feb 28 in idea barrages

A story about characters who have had fleeting encounters with The Crow called “The Gothman Prophecies”. See if you can convince someone that you think “BDSM” stands for “Buford / Denver The ...


February 27, 2021

feb 27 in idea barrages

I don’t know what the Heathcliff/BEEFCLIFF meme would look like, I just know it needs to exist. The New Mutants character Sunspot had the nickname Berto for Roberto and grew up very very rich...


February 23, 2021

feb 26 in idea barrages

The logical endgame of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter is, of course, Schrodinger’s Butter. You cannot know if it is or is not butter until you open the box. Uber but the driver shows up in a...


February 23, 2021

feb 25 in idea barrages

The optimal name for a punk band is “Shrektal Thermometer”. We haven’t had a mash-up of CITIZEN KANE and A CHRISTMAS CAROL yet. A Scottish cake boss may well have to make the bagpipes with ...


February 23, 2021

feb 24 in idea barrages

Step One: start a business. Step Two: create a mascot called Murray Little. Step Three: frame all your holiday ads around the slogan “have yourself a Murray Little Christmas! Step Four: ??? Ste...


When you’re young and everyone’s so inexperienced and insecure, it’s a minefield trying to talk to whoever you’re dating about your exes. Are they going to feel like you’re comparing them to some...


February 21, 2021

feb 23 in idea barrages

Horatio Alger, who invented all the bootstrap idiocy upon which so many American horrors are founded, only became an author of wealth-worshiping drivel because he was run out of his hometown on...


February 21, 2021

feb 22 in idea barrages

Yeah, I’m singing that funk song “Brick House” but about looking a gift horse in the mouth. You’ll be doing it too now that you read this. Why say you “mend pants” when you can say you “dabbl...


February 21, 2021

feb 21 in idea barrages

You all worrying about where the pants would go on this or that, I’m still trying to figure out how many sticks you’d need to crucify a centaur. A rapper wasting money on a rivalry is a lot l...


February 18, 2021

feb 20 in idea barrages

Maybe the real monster was the big head we gave Todd along the way. Imagine being so rich that no one can tell you that Jar-Jar Binks is a bad idea. Just really get into that idea and sit the...


February 18, 2021

feb 19 in idea barrages

Step into my Parler, said the con-man to the chud… A head canon where Herbie The Love Bug was a prequel to the Cars movies. Eventually, someone breaks Herbie’s heart and he leads the rise of ...


February 18, 2021

feb 18 in idea barrages

I like mashing up Disney songs. I am currently singing Ursula’s song to the tune of I Can Show You The World. “Pooooooooor un-FOR-tunate sooooooooouuullllls…” The existence of Brawny Man beli...


February 16, 2021

certainty in poetry

at a certain point you’ll have to come to terms with the fact that you can’t come to terms with every single fact that’s in your life there will always be some loose threads ...


It was all over but the crying, that’s what they say. It usually isn’t literally true, though. That day, that time, that place, it was literally true. He was only kept alive by a respirator, brai...


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