littlefallsmets ⋅ 45 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,129
Page 44 of 206
mar 31 in idea barrages
Sell peanut butter waffles with the catch-phrase “Legume My EGGUMES!” At some point, Macys is going to go bankrupt and the Thanksgiving Parade will get a new corporate sponsor like a jank thi...
mar 30 in idea barrages
Snow without Christmas lights is so damn depressing. Can we all just agree to turn them on once the first snow sticks and leave them until the final melt? All our brains would be better for it....
mar 29 in idea barrages
The finest medieval architecture was some real moats art. I mean, yeah, I was singing “Hey Ya” about Enya. A song about synesthesia “She Blinded Me With Silence”. On a statistical average...
mar 28 in idea barrages
Content content everywhere but no contentment to speak. An open grave is really just a plot hole. Any long screed of pasta demands is a manipesto. Olive’s youngest sister, a social media ...
mar 27 in idea barrages
Don’t be a lubricant, be a lubrican. Would Investi-Gator be an alligator that solves crimes or an alligator that trades stocks? So Funko Pops are just Beanie Babies + A Sheen of Irony? I ...
mar 26 in idea barrages
A love song about weightlifters called “Heart and Swole”. I don’t know how to properly mash up “Dogs Playing Poker” and “The Last Supper” I just know that when you figure it out, you’ll have ...
prompt: green, title: when I am gone in misc. flash fiction
When I’m gone, I don’t want anyone going around lying about me. Not by omission and not by commission, either. I don’t want death turning me into something I’m not, I’d rather not have entropy gi...
mar 25 in idea barrages
Too much shotgunning beer will leave you with carpal funnel syndrome. You know what would be an interesting pop culture mash-up? Jiminy Hoffa. A book about an unhinged internet fanboy who, ...
mar 24 in idea barrages
If you stitch mild compliments into your socks, you are darning them with faint praise. If the Grimace wants to telegraph his edginess, does he dye his purple hair brown? Slenderman is just...
mar 23 in idea barrages
The darkly funny thing, of course, is how for decades these militia yahoos, gun humpers & Seal Team LARPers went on and on about how rebellious and free-thinking and anti-establishment they...
mar 22 in idea barrages
Everybody thinks they’re from either a Beatles or a Stones family, nobody realizes the REAL divide is National Lampoon Radio Hour versus Firesign Theatre. The leading cause of poverty is the ...
mar 21 in idea barrages
Nixon wasn’t more “dignified” to resign, after all, it was simply that he knew Ford would pardon him like the stooge he was. Now, granted, Nixon never tried to have his vice-president murdered ...
mar 20 in idea barrages
In Soviet Russia, party rocks and rolls YOU all night and every day. You will perform classical reinterpretations of Katy Perry songs as “Catherine Periwinkle”. I still say E.T. looks like ...
prompt: drift, title: carl jung and the restless in misc. flash fiction
In my dreams, I’m always drifting. Drifting off the road, drifting off to sleep behind the wheel, to dream within a dream. I drift into some second sort of sleep while I’m highway-driving and the...
mar 19 in idea barrages
Your Internet Scam name is your ATM pin and then your social security number. I want Trump to have a “November 1st College Campus Walk-Of-Shame” exit, Trump in a disheveled incomplete version...
mar 18 in idea barrages
The hip-hop term “OG” stands for “Olive Garden”. Every time I see Kyra Sedwick in a television ad I think she’s Amy Sedaris and that’s a compliment to them both. If you think about it, on F...
mar 17 in idea barrages
That goat giving birth is just kidding. Traditional at a ghost wedding, of course, is sheet cake. Somewhere, there’s an EDM button pusher who performs as M.C. Rib. If the SEX IN THE CITY ...
mar 16 in idea barrages
Now that The Weeknd has a Super Bowl half-time gig, you’d think he could finally afford to pay for that missing “e”. Nothing like watching your first NFL game start to finish in years to reme...
mar 15 in idea barrages
singing “When you read until there’s pizzas, PARP it like it’s hot, PARP it like it’s hot, PARP it like it’s hot” Have a merchandise sale in the middle of March called THE IDES OF MERCH. If...
mar 14 in idea barrages
I’ve seen more arrests in front of the Renaissance Bar after a drunken cat fight over Canal Days than I’ve seen of these penny-ante stormtroopers breaking into the Capitol with guns and Confede...
prompt: tremor, title: principled uncertainty in misc. flash fiction
To you, it might seem like a superpower to see what we can see but I swear that it’s the opposite. You’re the ones with the powers to not see it, to not have to deal with it, to not bear witness ...
missed america in poetry
oh but that we could just stuff ourselves with the emptiest of calories and drift on off to sleep free of our shared responsibilities never having to wake up never having to make the cho...
mar 13 in idea barrages
Few years back, a tattoo parlor in Albany was getting boycotted for being Proud Boy sympathizers & all kinds of lefties were like “c’mon, I really like my tats there, you guys!” Everyone sa...
mar 12 in idea barrages
Y’know. After years of studying his list, I think this Craig fellow might be a pimp who has too many couches. Oh yeah, middle of January I realize how good a parody of Santa Baby “Satan Baby”...
mar 11 in idea barrages
Sell your trendy IPA to furries as “BruWu”. Why not. All rules are off. It’s Vincent PRICE PRICE BABY, it’s Vincent PRICE PRICE BABY… The French cheese wizard. The Fromage. The amount of ...
