littlefallsmets ⋅ 45 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,152
Page 37 of 207
sept 7 in idea barrages
Live Inside, Laugh at the Outside, Love Air-Conditioning. Malort is Chicago’s revenge on America for not getting to live in NYC or LA. Well-played, Illinois, well-played. Quarantining Rahm ...
sept 6 in idea barrages
Has anyone ever asked Nickelodeon why they made Jimmy Neutron’s hair style look like the pinched-tip of the world’s creamiest shit? Anyone ever explain why they were going for that? Because… I ...
sept 5 in idea barrages
When you’re in your 20s, you pop and lock to impress breakdance ladies on the floor. When you’re in your 40s, your joints pop and lock of their own accord. When no one notices your social med...
sept 4 in idea barrages
Cheaply made cartoons have big DiC energy. Grey Poupon again? Dijon vu. What if Neil Young’s Heart of Gold is actually a musical treasure map to a literal heart of gold he buried somewhere ...
sept 3 in idea barrages
I apologize for being part of a society so shallowly profit-driven they convinced you to have a “skin care routine”. So they can make money, they convinced you you’re ugly if you don’t spend hu...
sept 2 in idea barrages
Why call them “factoids” when you could call them “reality bites”? A mystery about a death at bartender school called “Screaming Bloody Muddler”. A sausage so large you could knock someone ...
sept 1 in idea barrages
Refer to the game of billiards as “math balls”. See how long you can get people to buy that you legitimately think this is the name of the game. “Wanna go shoot some math balls?” you might say....
aug 31 in idea barrages
Hallucinate your past in deep isolation pods in a process we like to call “tanks for the memories”. A documentary called DAMP IF YOU DO: THE CONSPIRACY THAT KILLED MOIST-ROASTED PEANUTS. Yo...
aug 30 in idea barrages
I get that FARGO is a terse and iconic title but they really could’ve gone with A PRAIRIE HOME ACCOMPLICE. One path to the most obnoxious movie ever would be mashing-up two already obnoxious ...
first response in life stuff and misc.
On the first of these awful anniversaries, in two-thousand-two, I was driving into work, my very first job after college, training as a 911 (the emergency line not the day) operator up in Herkime...
numbered days in life stuff and misc.
Who am I to say? I saw it on the television same as anyone, same as everyone who wasn’t really there. The woman I was dating at the time had personal connections, her brother working on the Wall ...
aug 29 in idea barrages
The title “Peaky Blinders” was wasted on the British mafia show when it could’ve been the new word for nipple pasties. When young, we are each a pliable gelatin of affections suspended in a b...
aug 28 in idea barrages
When Oroku Saki was empowered by mutation at the end of TMNT 2: THE SECRET OF THE OOZE, that was a real super-Shredder event. The irony of art, all human influence, is how the things that com...
aug 27 in idea barrages
A show. About a hotel. Run by witches. Called BROOM SERVICE. Had never listened to the full song “Pumped Up Kicks”, had never realized how little there is to it. It tries to stretch a half-wa...
prompt: crash, title: the details in misc. flash fiction
While you were sleeping, the spirit entered your room and sprinkled magic inspiration all over the keys, but the thing that did so was no muse, it was instead The Devil himself. Or herself, somet...
aug 26 in idea barrages
He came from a long line of toilet paper craftsmen, traveling the world to ply their trade. It was only the arrogant egotism of Cliff that caused him to name the books after himself instead o...
aug 25 in idea barrages
The optimal name for a haunted house is “The Best Little Gorehouse In Texas”, provided, you know, it’s in Austin or whatever. Your body, a scratch and sniff sticker, your consciousness, your ...
aug 24 in idea barrages
A reverse chocolate chip cookie. A chocolate bar festooned with little cookie bits. Let’s do this, America. Okay, now we just gotta get RIVERS Cuomo to quit. Step 1: develop a THC-infused s...
aug 23 in idea barrages
Television destroyed the market for recurrent short subjects in theaters, it was a real serial killer. The original slogan was “I’m thinkin’ about settling for Arbys” but “I’m thinkin’ Arbys”...
aug 22 in idea barrages
Some would argue that their favourite TGIF sitcom / anime mash-up is URKEL 1/2 but there’s a lot to be said for FULLHOUSE ALCHEMIST. You know what I’d never thought about before? The old sitc...
aug 21 in idea barrages
Your EDM DJ vampire persona will be called “Count Bassy”. Radio killed the gramophone star, gramophone killed the piano roll star, piano roll killed the dancing hall star. The reality you wer...
prompt: wait, title: waltzing on pins in misc. flash fiction
We always talk about how long we get to live but we so rarely talk about how long we’re going to be dead, a number so close to infinity that it’s functionally indistinguishable from the infinite ...
prompt: cloud, title: shelf reading in misc. flash fiction
There aren’t enough books where the mystery writer tries their hand at detective work and turns out to be terrible at it. There would be more of them, I reckon, but few crime novelists would care...
aug 20 in idea barrages
Microwaving Ellios alone at 3AM creates the legendary “impersonal pan pizza”. Did you see that show-off archer? His knees were quivering! LESS ICE CREAM SOCIALS, MORE PARFAIT PAR-TAYS! Wh...
aug 19 in idea barrages
Sure, 45 minutes a day for a year can get you shredded abs but for a mere five minutes total with floss you can have shredded gums. That’s… close, right? Your Iowa college marching band style...
