littlefallsmets ⋅ 45 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,129
Page 37 of 206
aug 20 in idea barrages
Microwaving Ellios alone at 3AM creates the legendary “impersonal pan pizza”. Did you see that show-off archer? His knees were quivering! LESS ICE CREAM SOCIALS, MORE PARFAIT PAR-TAYS! Wh...
aug 19 in idea barrages
Sure, 45 minutes a day for a year can get you shredded abs but for a mere five minutes total with floss you can have shredded gums. That’s… close, right? Your Iowa college marching band style...
aug 18 in idea barrages
They didn’t call the second Jumanji “Twomanji” because they’re cowards. Carpe Dulcis - See’s, The Candy Publish a magazine called POST-MODERN BRIDE. A “#1 Grandmother” mug is literally a ...
aug 17 in idea barrages
If Captain Kangaroo were on today, Twitter would be organizing conventions for strange adult men who claimed they were into it because it’s “good television for all ages” but were all really in...
aug 16 in idea barrages
Part of how we took down the Confederacy was as simple as flooding the market with counterfeits of their fake currency. You wanna bring down the neo-Confederacy? Start counterfeiting crypto-cur...
aug 15 in idea barrages
CARRY ON MY SQUIDWARD SON, THERE’LL BE FISH WHEN YOU ARE DONE A gallery show of paintings inspired by the work of Frank Zappa entitled EASELS RIPPED MY FLESH. America, believing itself to d...
aug 14 in idea barrages
Yes, you can bring your own lover to the brothel if you just need the bed, but there will be a porkage fee. There wouldn’t be much money to be made in a wings-focused restaurant themed around...
aug 13 in idea barrages
Sometimes I think about ANIMANIACS and how Wakko, Yakko and Dot refused to bring their brother Malcolm-Jamal along for the ride. If we could just get the word “craveable” cancelled as offensi...
aug 12 in idea barrages
Here’s something wild: Bruce Willis used to have hair. Really! I know, it’s like impossible to imagine but there it is. When I try to remember DIE HARD or MOONSTRUCK, my brain re-wrote him to b...
aug 11 in idea barrages
I hope they call Shrek fan-conventions “Swamp Meets”. How did Cheetos settle on “Dangerously Cheesy”? Who stepped in to pull them back from “Hazardously Cheesy” or “Poisonously Cheesy”? The l...
aug 10 in idea barrages
Watching the stands at Citi during the New York Mets game tonight, I remember why I am so comfortable in baseball stands and at comic-cons: both locations make me feel thinner and more in-shape...
aug 9 in idea barrages
A painting of a Craftsman cordless drill with the caption: “This Is Not A Drill”. The painting will be called “The Treachery of Advertising”. An Alanis Morissette starring horror movie YOU OU...
prompt: secret, title: lucky lucky in misc. flash fiction
If we are lucky, very lucky, this life will have been as if it were a trip to some grand amusement park when we were children, so well-themed and so immersive we could have all sworn that it was ...
aug 8 in idea barrages
Why say “corrupt petrol-state” when you can say “fuel economy”? Why say “Pizza Meal-Ready-to-Eat” when you can say “Prepperoni Pizza”? Nostalgia fandom is fighting the same war raging thru ...
aug 7 in idea barrages
If they make a hip-hop musical about Martin Van Buren as a sequel to HAMILTON, we already have the main theme. MARTIIIIIIN, MARTIIIIIIN, HOW Y’ALL BEEN. It’ll be great. We are locked in. Had ...
aug 6 in idea barrages
Ollie is relaxing on a cool spot of the hardwood and I sing to him “LET THE DOGGIE SIT THE FLOOR, LET THE DOGGIE SIT THE FLOOR, LET THE DOGGIE SIT THE FLOOR”. No, IDEAS have meaning. Words ar...
aug 5 in idea barrages
When you need to write two frat boys as secondary villains in a comedy, I implore you to name them “Marshall Bennington the Third” and “Chester Matthers the Fourth”. This is important. It reall...
aug 4 in idea barrages
It calls forth an angry spirit that forces you to not skip leg day. It is The Master of Thighs by Suzanne Summoner. Sequel to HOME ALONE where The Snowshovel Slasher, a serial killer of negle...
prompt: book, title: what you wished for in "the next big thing" flash fiction
“Ultimately, people only want stories if they can convince themselves they’re real,” the yeti said, as he set his coffee back on the saucer, “at least plausibly real. My people, yours, all people...
aug 3 in idea barrages
Too many people believe that freedom means “freedom from empathy” when everyone being freed from empathy means, pretty quickly, nearly everyone has no freedom at all. We could just as easily ...
aug 2 in idea barrages
There weren’t enough GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR DOUCHE jokes when the billionaires pretended to be astronauts because no human needs or deserves that much money in 50 lifetimes. Let’s do better ne...
aug 1 in idea barrages
No, Mr. Drowning Pool, there’s indeed something wrong with you. You are in Drowning Pool, that is indeed wrong. I just wonder: are you in Drowning Pool because there’s something wrong with you ...
july 31 in idea barrages
If you think about it, a completely valid alternate title for Donnie Darko would be “Echo And The Bunnymen”. A parody of that Shawn Mullins song “Lullabye” about the Showbiz Pizza Bear. “Ever...
station break in poetry
the revolution will be advertised they’ll sell bubble gums cards just like in the Gulf Wars not even after the fact as people are dying howling in the streets there...
july 30 in idea barrages
A strident screed about Italian cuisine is a manipesto. So did the Muadib show up in Space Jam and make it SPICE JAM or… If you morph your hands into bird talons and rip his genitals off be...
