littlefallsmets ⋅ 45 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,129
Page 30 of 206
feb 9 in idea barrages
No, the BEST way to keep Tobey Maguire in the Spider-Man films would be to film a sequel called THE SPIDER HOUSE RULES. You know you wanna hear Sir Michael Caine say “Goodnight, you princes of ...
feb 7 in idea barrages
If you want to study accents, you’re going to have to watch a lot of people making their vowel movements. In Soviet Old Navy, performance fleeces YOU! One of the beauties of the English lan...
law and love in poetry
law is a crude cudgel wielded by enforcers by desperate beggars at the behest of rich cowards for a half of a crumb off the top of some scion’s engorgement unearned inheritance ...
feb 5 in idea barrages
If anyone ever invents an infallible path to happiness and starts educating people about it, all I ask is, please call it “glad school”. A weird Ghostbusters / Little Shop of Horrors crossove...
“So, if Mitzi was attracted to you but you’re not attracted to humans, why didn’t she ever, uh,” I tried to be delicate but some things can’t be put delicately, “fix that with her magics.” “What ...
feb 3 in idea barrages
You are in the Feywild. You just had the best meal of your life. You tell the server “My compliments to the chef!” From that moment on, you are never able to compliment anything or anyone ever ...
feb 1 in idea barrages
If the CEO of the Bedazzler corporation was convicted of siphoning off funds for himself, the headlines would be so fun. The Fox News candy fetish is bordering on neccophilia. Whenever I re...
a bar by another other name would taste as sweet in poetry
you know how the first time someone sees a Baby Ruth bar they assume it must be named after baseball star Babe Ruth then someone speaks up and says “well actually it’s named afte...
jan 30 in idea barrages
If I’m around to eulogize Western Civilization, I want to solemnly intone “when pizza was on a bagel, truly, you could have had pizza anytime” at the funeral. A story about a support group fo...
jan 28 in idea barrages
I bet it’s weird going undercover for a sting posing as a stripper who starts out dressed as a cop. The only thing worse would be going undercover as a club DJ, that moment when you realize you...
jan 26 in idea barrages
When Skywalker drank the blue milk straight from the space walrus, what was the temperature? …luke warm? If you eat too many poffertjes, you get clogged arteries but, like, not with cholester...
significance in poetry
in your other life you would still hurt you would just have to pretend more that you didn’t in your other life you would still have lost who you’ve lost you would have just sha...
living with the dead in poetry
spectres following through each night all this could’ve been yours had the price been right but your dream bids they all went over as if crimson not four-leaf clover sp...
jan 24 in idea barrages
George the Third’s royal court was really just an insane crown posse. There’s only one thing Tim Allen could do with his career at this point, only one thing worth watching at all. Bring some...
prompt: spin, title: a certain measure of hope in misc. flash fiction
I’ve been thinking a lot about what an honor is to not die young and pretty, what a privilege it is to instead just wind down, simply wear out. How often it is a person doesn’t get to experience ...
jan 22 in idea barrages
A rap parody about Brian Posehn built around the line “Posehn in the membrane / Posehn in the brain”. The Phish song “David Bowie” but about Patrick Duffy. Start an ice cream parlor to supp...
prompt: stop, title: the kurtzberg account in misc. flash fiction
“What happened to my powers?” The intrusive thought sped through her mind from time to time. She had no idea where it could’ve come from, but each and every time, she pushed it down and away beca...
jan 20 in idea barrages
When Alta Vista died, it should’ve retroactively had its name changed to Baja Vista. A Twilight Zone that ends with the line “But Doctor, you ARE Pagliacci!” You can’t look outside of yours...
jan 18 in idea barrages
Mike Myers is the poor man’s Martin Short. Rick Moranis is the rich man’s Martin Short. An anthem for country-and-western vegetarians “I Eat Things With No Faces”. Dough in a Tandoori is a ...
jan 16 in idea barrages
The first time your children encounter The Flintstones, tell them that it was based on a popular cereal. Oh boy, someday they’ll find out the truth and what a laugh you’ll have. One arbitrary...
jan 14 in idea barrages
Watch out, lest the genie of the shampoo bottle ends up washed up as a bathtub djinn. Some day, up here in the North Country, we will start calling surgical masks “COVID mufflers” because the...
jan 12 in idea barrages
If you want both the goth AND the emo audiences to buy your stuff, you just name the band Unsolved Miseries. There you go. All the merch sales. A Cake parody about people in a moral panic ove...
imaginary cake song in poetry
I want the love of a danger-haired e-girl I want to live in the Wonderland Zoo a god that styles his hair in a spit curl and Bonaroo from a hot air balloon I want to watch hol...
jan 10 in idea barrages
Another way wealth is wasted on the wealthy: who spends their money on almost going into outer space for five minutes when you could build a pyramid lined with the old Chuck E Cheese movie paro...
jan 8 in idea barrages
It’s not when the classic rock station starts playing the music of your youth that you’re old, it’s when the classic rock station starts playing the music you were too old for in high school, t...
