littlefallsmets ⋅ 45 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,151
Page 26 of 207
aug 8 in idea barrages
All I have of this Steely Dan parody about the film Hocus Pocus is the line “Sanderson Sisters… shake it!” but, I mean, that’s really all required. No need gilding the lily. Do Polymaths Drea...
aug 6 in idea barrages
I don’t have a “Memory Palace” so much as a “Memory Scrambled Pay-Per-View Channel” where I kind of look at a swirl of vaguely shaped colors and, like, let my imagination sort of freestyle rap-...
aug 4 in idea barrages
Someday the Cake Proletariat will rise up against the Cake Boss and throw off the chains of Cake Oppression. They will liberate the means of confection. If you put Rom Space Knight into Super...
aug 2 in idea barrages
It’s fun to pretend that you think Bjork didn’t actually exist. “Oh yeah, she was like Jim Henson’s greatest achievement, you could almost because she was a real person.” The longer you stick t...
july 31 in idea barrages
Popeye the Sailor’s addiction to spinach started small, just giving in once to the pier pressure. I like to think that emojis are all created by a single cartoonist named Text Avery. Maybe ...
july 29 in idea barrages
Why call it “armed robbery” when we could call it a “harmburglar”? Your band is now named IMPERSONAL PAN PIZZA. Here we are, on the internet, where having all the collected knowledge of the...
july 27 in idea barrages
Why call it “public domain” when you could call it “I.P. freely”? Once again, I won the Boilermaker by sleeping in until 1PM in an air conditioned bedroom twenty-some-odd miles away. I’m real...
july 25 in idea barrages
The narrator is a version of myself / the narrator is aversion of myself. Apple cobbler JEANS, boots by a COBBLER. I mean, maybe that’s the thing, right? If I’m fated to be a courier, an ov...
july 23 in idea barrages
OSMOSIS JONES except the germs keep killing Bill Murray and resurrecting him over and over again to win a bet with the devil and it’s called OSMOSIS JOB. And then, sometimes, you just wanna w...
july 21 in idea barrages
The Navii from Avatar are just really really horny Gungans. I’ll be taking no further questions. Conan the Barbarian rapping “Don’t call it a Crom-back, I’m no good at prayers”. Your wild m...
july 19 in idea barrages
If you misremember the Simpsons and think Kearney said “Nuke The Whales”, is that a Nelson Mandela effect? You can say “well, I’ll just move to Canada” all you like but if all the sane people...
july 17 in idea barrages
In the next season of Futurama, because of the lag between animation writing and animation output, will we get a by-then outdated Morbo The News Monster “It’s Morbo Time” joke? Anyone who doe...
july 15 in idea barrages
Why call them “bridesmaids” when you can say “insane gown posse”? A Smashing Pumpkins candy tie-in called Reese’s Pieces Iscariot. I just think Eminem should sell a knife called “Mom’s Mac...
july 13 in idea barrages
The whole continuity of the Mario Brothers makes a lot more sense if all the Donkey Kong games are Wario posing as Mario to frame him for being a jerk to monkeys. Only years and years later d...
your morning reminder in poetry
this is the life you get hunting for socks and belts when you don’t even want to be awake but you still have to be awake this is the life you get there are no servants or hand-maidens or ...
july 11 in idea barrages
You pull upside the Duke Brothers in their “General Lee”. You are driving a muscle car done up in Union colours. You tell them your car is called “The General Sherman”. They laugh and ask why. ...
Movie-theater butter, of course, isn’t actually butter at all. It’s “topping”. That stuff they put on popped corn at your local multiplex (if you still have one, if yours wasn’t put out of busine...
july 9 in idea barrages
We live in a culture that thinks the worst disease imaginable is a case of the Not-Famous and we wander through life with this imaginary leprosy, trying to mob the famous through our parasocial...
july 7 in idea barrages
If you think about it, old school 3-D movies had to be developed from a double negative. A picture of the actors for C3P0 and some of the Stormtroopers, half out of costume, on a smoke break ...
july 5 in idea barrages
Whenever baseball announcers call a leg strain a “tight hammy” I imagine Miss Piggy demanding Kermit talk during to her during sex, despite his mild and positive nature, and him only being able...
july 3 in idea barrages
A story about a warlock making a deal with an aquatic eldritch horror called PACT TO THE GILLS. “For you, Nermal,” Garfield said, Nermal’s knife holding unsteadily at Garfield’s throat, “the ...
july 1 in idea barrages
The world’s greatest mash-up would somehow stitch together that LCD Soundsystem “New York I Love You But You’re Bringing Me Down” / Miles Davis solo mash-up WITH the Bacon Pancakes / Empire Sta...
Fighting entropy, with this universe’s grim deterministic physics, is a lot like playing skeeball in a beachside arcade. You can practice and practice, but no matter how skilled you’ve become, th...
american tune in poetry
Jesus Christ the guy so nice His heart so full of love His love so great He could only hate all His shitty fan-clubs
june 29 in idea barrages
An NES video game based on the early ’60s sitcom “I’m Dickens, He’s Fenster” called “FENSTER’S QUEST”. (Bonus points, it would also be based on a John Astin starring television show!) Spider-...
