littlefallsmets ⋅ 45 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,131
Page 128 of 206
47 in idea barrages
1.) Trouble is just like toilet paper, whether we wanna admit it or not, we all go through it sometimes. 2.) I occasionally call Ollie “Doggie-Doggie Panic” but I fear he is ignorant to the devel...
46 in idea barrages
1.) When we let “career politician” be an insult instead of a compliment, this is what we get. Career politicians are less corrupt than people who move between business and public service because...
45 in idea barrages
1.) I sure hope that the Billy Mays biopic will be called AMAYSING. Also, if you need a lead, I can grow a thick beard. 2.) There is a term for giving a billion in tax dollars to a rich man for a...
to the tune of REELIN' IN THE YEARS in song parodies
you’re getting calls from Navient getting calls from Sallie Mae you’re getting calls from CitiBank there’s no way that you could pay you couldn’t afford a diamond if it only cost a buck ...
a case of the maybes in poetry
maybe what separates you from the “Great Men” is not genius or hard work but rather that you’re not a totally-selfish jerk and you refuse to consciously exploit people you’re not prepar...
living with war in poetry
few things put me more at war with the divided forces within my nature than when I find myself attracted to a woman who also happens to be a cop on the one hand a person w...
in some ways “attempted murder” is even worse than “murder” because not only are you still in jail but you’re also a failure I bet that at the prison cafeterias you have to sit at th...
Literally any product could be marketed under the name “I Can Believe This Is Not Butter” Even butter, if it is of a low enough quality “Home Depot 2-by-4s: I Can Believe These Are Not Butter” ...
before social networking you used to lose touch with people from the past parts of your life unless you really really tried Christmas cards and reunions phone trees and newspaper clippi...
rage against the rage in poetry
Back before everything became so dire before there were actual Nazis in charge to fight it would’ve been fun to all dress up in robot costumes and pretend to protest outside of a Rage Again...
404 in idea barrages
1.) Cockrings are anti-climactic. 2.) They found The Beast bloated, lying on the floor, belching. “Where is Beauty?” they screamed. “Don’t you know Beauty is on the inside?” 3.) A classier name f...
43 in idea barrages
1.) The greatest Scandinavian baseball player was of course Whitey Fjord. 2.) The greatest Discordian baseball player was of course Whitey Fnord. 3.) The Dominos Army was unstoppable until the pi...
42 in idea barrages
1.) If you have to tell someone else who or what they are so that you can reinforce your own fragile worldview? That’s on you, not them. 2.) Few things put me more at war with the divided forces ...
a particularly good barrage in idea barrages
1.) I’m not “limited edition”, I’m weird. 2.) If you’re even in a fight with a kleptomaniac, yell “take that!” and it will confuse the hell out of them. 3.) I like to believe that just before Ear...
march capstone in idea barrages
1.) Your album of Dylan covers in the voice of Freddy Kreuger will be called “Exile On Elm Street”. 2.) If nothing else, this drives a stake into the heart of that myth that “businessmen would go...
to the tune of DON'T BRING ME DOWN in song parodies
you spent ten million on that suit that you got you know that crim’nals are a cowardly lot go punch a clown, na-na na-na na-na you dress like a bat, there’s just one use for that, g...
330 in idea barrages
1.) Don’t say “I can’t do this”. Say “I can’t do this yet”. With practice and time, very few things are truly impossible. 2.) Pulpy orange juice: for people who think liquid is supposed to have c...
329 in idea barrages
1.) Your rom-com that takes place at a medical marijuana dispensary will be called ROMANCING THE STONED. 2.) When cowboys want a more formal dinner, they call in the Charles Wagon instead. 3.) Ge...
328 in idea barrages
1.) Covering Hanson songs in the style of Charles Manson as “Manson” makes sense because “Mmmbopgimmiebopawoobop” is something he’d say. 2.) If your Pokemon themed porno doesn’t involve “Vulvasau...
327 in idea barrages
1.) Dear classical composers, name something “The Bowel Suite” so NPR announcers have to refer to a Bowel Movement. 2.) After atomic war, only papa twinkies and papa roaches will survive. 3.) He ...
326 in idea barrages
1.) Felix’s Law: The thinner the fabric of your shirt, the higher the chance that a kitty will want to knead your belly. 2.) Transformers could’ve been called Wereplanes and, really, it would’ve ...
325 in idea barrages
1.) I hope all you Never Hillarys enjoy the people of the Dakotas being poisoned by the Keystone Pipeline because that’s what you helped get. 2.) Stop worrying about hardworking brown people stea...
324 in idea barrages
1.) Prepper psychos have a premise “Grayman” about blending in to survive so of course they sell shirts that say “Grayman” in big letters. 2.) Remember: because guns are well controlled in Britai...
323 in idea barrages
1.) The one political vendetta I’d WANT Fake President to pursue is disappearing Billy Fuccillo for using that moronic “YUUUUGE!” schtick first. 2.) Things get slow in Canadian winter. “Here’s a ...
322 in idea barrages
1.) Nearly every conversation I’ve overheard in this airport was about medical troubles (dialysis, two different cancers) but sure, fake president, kill healthcare. 2.) It scares me that I’m no l...
